Chapter 8

Sunlight was streaming into the bedroom when Monica’s eyes opened suddenly, her heart racing and a tiny sob caught in her throat. Immediately, her eyes flew to Andrew’s sleeping face, her heart only then starting to return to a normal rhythm and she felt her body relax. Dreams of losing him were a new breed of fear that the rape had caused and she wondered if there would ever really be a day when her dreams would again be nothing but happy ones.

Deep in her heart, she knew he was right-that she would be able to survive without him. What was the truth was that she didn’t want to. Whatever strength she had deep inside of her, had nothing to do with her ability to ever lose him. Even back when they had simply been friends, she had come to depend on him and to love him and she had always dreaded their separations. Somehow, she had always felt that she needed him more than he had ever needed her. After all, she was the one who so often found herself in need of his help, of his reassurance, his unconditional love.

It was one of those mornings when her soul allowed her heart to know he loved her, even if not allowing the knowledge that he needed her. She simply couldn’t fathom what she could possibly offer that he would need. Wasn’t loving someone about needing them as well and she had no doubts about the countless ways that she needed him and surely he had to see that too. But for months, she had been too messed up from the rape for him to be able to lean on her if he needed to. He gave of himself to her constantly and she had needed him so desperately, that she had accepted all he had to offer.

Now, looking up at him, she could see how tired he looked, how much she was taking from him constantly. Monica tried to tell herself that he didn’t mind, that he wanted to do it, and maybe that was true, but he was getting so little in return. Yes, she just needed to start dealing with her own troublesome thoughts better, so he wouldn’t feel the need to do so much. Surely that wasn’t the same as pushing him away.

Moving carefully and with pain staking slowness, she inched her way out of his embrace and burrowed her way down under the comforter, until she was positioned much lower. Being careful not to wake him, she reached into his boxers and touched the tip of him, feeling the instant response she had grown accustomed to. It still amazed her how quickly he responded to her touch, even now when he wasn’t really aware of it. As he hardened beneath her light movement, she lowered her head and took him into her mouth, sucking him gently.

Andrew’s eyes flew open upon realizing he had just been surrounded by the heat of his wife’s mouth and a sleepy groan escaped his lips. Realizing he couldn’t see her, he flung back the comforter and prepared to pull her up to kiss her, but she stopped him.

"I want to love my husband," Monica replied softly to his unspoken question before immediately returning to his pleasure. She drew him into her mouth once more, her hand moving in rhythm with her as she stroked and sucked him, her free hand moving lightly along his thigh. Having no other option but to enjoy the things she was doing to him, Andrew watched her with a combination of fire, passion and complete love in his green eyes.

She teased, and stroked, running her tongue along him, until he was all but begging for mercy. He longed to pull her up and sink himself into her depths, usually preferring to fall off the edge with her, but she had already pushed him past the point of argument and when she finally took the length of him into her warm mouth, he knew he was unable to hold back. Her name was a mantra on his lips as he spilt into her, nearly beyond comprehension as his wife drank him in completely.

"Good morning," Monica smiled at him as he pulled her back up and into his arms before he kissed her heatedly.

"I think you are still far too dressed," Andrew informed her, giving an impatient tug on her nightgown.

But she shook her head, smile still in place, "This morning was just for you, because I love you," She explained, kissing him once more.

He hesitated, unsure of what to think. She seemed perfectly content, but he wasn’t at all sure if all the pain she had been going through lately was stopping her from allowing him to love her. He elected not to push, but to wait things out and see what developed. Reaching out, he outlined her face tenderly with his fingertips, "I love you too, baby."

Monica searched his eyes briefly, before lowering her own, "I’m going to get a shower and make you breakfast….and Alex and Paul too if they are awake or haven’t already eaten."

"I’ll be in to help you, angel," He began but she looked up at him hopefully.

"Please, let me do this for you. At least let me try."

Knowing she wasn’t all that brilliant in the kitchen, but not wanting to do anything to squelch her confidence, he relented, "Will you let me know if you need anything?"

"I promise," Monica replied, kissing him quickly once more, before scurrying out of bed, grabbing her robe and heading to the shower.

Andrew watched her go, trying to ignore the feeling in his heart that this was just one more tactic he didn’t understand for her to try to cope with the things that were still tormenting her heart.

*****

"You’re letting her cook?" Paul looked more than slightly worried. He and Alex had gotten up to find one angel in the kitchen and one in the living room.

"Yes. She asked to do it," Andrew replied, trying to sound as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

Turning to his wife, Paul asked, "Have our fire extinguishers been updated recently?"

"I think so…about six months ago," She replied, trying not to giggle at the situation. The fact that they were all so concerned was striking her as very funny.

"Come on, Paul. She only set off the fire alarm that one time," Andrew insisted, wincing at the clamor that was coming from the kitchen.

"Yes and then added a pot of coffee to pizza one other time-."

"You told her you liked it…you asked for seconds," He pointed out.

"Yeah, well, the love she made it with overpowered the mocha flavoring by a hair."

"This is important to her for some reason and we’re not going to interfere," Alex stated firmly, giving each one of them a hard look, "Unless we smell smoke, we’re leaving her to go to it."

"You’re right, Alex. It is important to her for some reason. I just wish I knew what that reason was," Andrew sighed and ran a hand through his still slightly damp hair. She was changing gears faster than he could keep up these days and he knew the wide array of emotions had to be confusing her as well.

"Why do you say that?" Alex frowned, not liking the sudden look of distress she could now see in the angel’s eyes.

"Just a hunch," After all, he was not about to tell Alex his wife had given him a blow job this morning and then refused to let him make love to her. Alex didn’t need any ammunition against him after the whole car ordeal the other night.

"Well all I can say is that I managed to keep coffee pizza down, but if she adds it to eggs I may not be so lucky," Paul muttered.

Alex was at his side a second later and staring up into his face sternly. "I don’t care if she left the shells on them, you’re going to eat every bite and say it’s delicious."

Andrew’s lips twitched as he struggled to hold back a laugh. Alex had taken her role of big sister to heart, and whether it was the motherly instincts kicking in or not, she was absolutely adorable.

"Yes ma’am. Cleaning my plate, ma’am," Paul replied, but when Alex nodded her satisfaction and turned away he leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Just remember who owes who when we get to the bedroom tonight."

She was extremely thankful that Andrew had his eye on the kitchen doorway and didn’t see the deep red blush that rose from her neck right up to the roots of her hair. She was tempted to turn around and give him one of her patented looks, but she had a feeling that he was going to be wearing one of his own, and that if she saw it she’d be dragging him back to bed and they’d miss breakfast altogether. Instead she sat down on the sofa and quickly picked up the paper. It was suddenly quite absorbing, despite the fact that it was several weeks old.

It was actually only a few minutes, but it seemed longer, before Monica called out from the kitchen, "Come on in! Breakfast is served!"

Andrew was on his feet less than a second later and Paul and Alex followed him in. The first thing that caught their eyes was the fact that the little angel had lit a dozen candles as a centerpiece for the table, and their soft, flickering light was warm and inviting. The table was set with placemats and napkins and silverware, and plates sat waiting at each place along with glasses of water and juice and mugs of coffee. A large bowl filled with what appeared to be scrambled eggs sat at one end of the table, with plates of toast and bacon at the other end, and in between were smaller bowls of fresh fruit and yogurt. Frankly, it was a sight that none of them had expected.

Paul and Alex took their places at the table and Andrew insisted on pulling out his wife’s chair. "It looks wonderful," he whispered as he kissed her cheek.

Looking, however, was far different than tasting, and Paul was slightly leery as he took a large helping of eggs, trying to determine if the darker specs were coffee grounds or seasoned pepper. He decided to wait until everyone was served before finding out. Monica was smiling so happily and some of the worried lines had faded from Andrew’s face. Paul hoped their optimism was warranted.

After everything had been passed around, and they all had full plates, Alex and Paul shared a quick glance as they raised their forks. As his mouth closed around it, the agent’s eyes opened wider. It was good. Actually, not good, but very good. He was about to say just that when Monica spoke.

"I hope everything is all right. The eggs actually started out being fried, but they all broke so I decided maybe this was a safer idea." Her eyes held a slight hint of anxiety as she watched them all carefully.

"Monica, this is wonderful!" Paul exclaimed. "Who knew you could actually cook after all?" His mouth snapped shut at the look Alex gave him. "I mean, of course you can… obviously we should have given you more of a chance…" he rapidly backpedaled, but Monica’s little laugh eased the tension.

"It’s all right. I think we all know that cooking has never been one of my talents…. But this morning… I guess I was inspired. I wanted everything to be just perfect," she said, looking across at Andrew.

"And it is, baby. You’ve definitely out-done yourself. No more salad for you. I think breakfast is your new specialty."

Monica was practically glowing from the compliments by the time they finished eating, and Andrew couldn’t have been happier. He still wasn’t exactly sure why she had elected to make it in the first place, when she knew that cooking was somewhat of a challenge for her, but clearly it had helped put a sparkle back in her eye. He could only guess that with so much else out of her control, this was something she had decided she could overcome. He was just thankful that it had been such a success.

"Ugh, I can’t believe I ate so much," Paul groaned as he pushed himself back from the table.

"Me neither," Alex agreed. "I’m just about ready for my nap now."

Andrew chuckled at them and reached across the table for Monica’s hand. "Well you two can nap away. I plan on taking my wife for a long ride through this winter wonderland we have outside."

"Have at it," Paul stated. "I’m going to build us a nice fire in here and plant myself in front of it."

Alex’s eyes had lit up a bit at the mention of a ride and Paul raised one eyebrow as she opened her mouth. "Paul…"

"Alex, honey, no. We already talked about this."

"But I’m just barely three months."

"And we agreed that three months was when you’d stop riding."

"Oh fine," She said with a pout as she crossed her arms. "I guess I’m stuck inside with you then."

Andrew burst into laughter at the aggrieved expression on Paul’s face. "Oh, stuck, is it?" the agent said. "I’ll remember that."

Alex broke her pout and gave a little sigh as she stood up and moved to his side. "Oh you! I guess I can think of worse places to be stuck," she amended. She leaned down to kiss him on the temple and let out a little squeak as he moved away before her lips landed.

"No. Now I’m hurt."

"Get that fire built and I’ll make it up to you," she grinned, not even caring that Andrew and Monica were watching them with grins on their faces.

"Okay, well, have fun you two," Paul said quickly as he stood up.

Andrew laughed again and Monica’s giggle rang through the kitchen.

"Shouldn’t we clean up first?" Monica asked as her husband quickly stepped around the table and took her hand in his again.

"We’ll take care of it," Alex insisted. "You made it, we’ll clean up after it," she said with a wink.

"You heard her," Andrew said as he grabbed her coat from its peg on the wall. "Now c’mon. I think I can hear Scout calling for you."

Monica helped Andrew saddle up Scout and Moonglow, then accepted his leg up into her saddle. She was still smiling contentedly when they urged the horses forward and started off across the fields. The day was cold, but the sunshine was beautiful though Andrew was thankful he had made his wife bundle up especially warm today. He was also on the lookout for any rabbits, foxes or any other small animal that might alarm Scout. Experience had taught him well.

He was still unable to settle the uneasiness in his heart over her actions this morning, but decided not to push it. She seemed happy, at least on the outside and he allowed that to be enough right now.

"Can we go a different way?" Monica asked, glancing over at him.

"Of course we can, angel. We can go anyplace you’d like," Andrew replied and he immediately turned Moonglow to the right to follow her lead. She had also chosen to pick up the pace a bit, but not enough to endanger the horses in the snow and he smiled at watching her. One of his earliest memories of her was of her riding and the image had always captivated him. Before it had seemed to be the physical part of her free spirit, and even now served as a reminder that someplace, maybe buried deeply, that same carefree angel existed. He hoped with all his heart that eventually he would see that part of her reemerge, but he knew that time was the only answer there. She hadn’t had enough of that yet, but even now, in the last few days, he had seen glimpses of the playfulness of her heart. After all, he was still chuckling at her playing the naïve angel about Paul’s car and then calling his bluff that she really knew the truth.

They rode in silence, Andrew riding just behind her, enjoying the view of her petite form and the wind in her hair. It had been close to an hour and his cheeks were stinging from the cold and he knew Monica had to be chilly as well. He was just considering suggesting that they turn back, when he saw her slow down. Bringing Moonglow up next to her, he saw what had now stopped her completely.

The cabin was small, but had been kept up in appearance and he was shocked to see Monica dismount and start towards it, "Angel, hang on," He called to her as he swung down off his horse. He had no idea who might be in there or who it might belong to, and he was not about to allow her to approach it first. Catching up with her, Monica turned to face him and grinned happily as his eyes narrowed in suspicion, "Wait a minute. What do you know about this?"

She giggled at his expression and took his hand, leading him to the door, which opened easily as she turned the knob. Stepping inside, she pulled him along with her and Andrew took a good look around, his protective instincts still on overdrive. It was small but cozy, with a living room, kitchenette, bedroom and full bathroom, decorated in country accents. There was even wood in the fireplace just waiting to be lit.

Turning to her husband, Monica wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up into his face, "Alex pulled me aside before we left and told me it was here. It belongs to them and they keep everything fully stocked in the event they ever need to use it," She stood up on tiptoe and kissed his lips softly, "Right now, it belongs to us. I wanted to spend a little one on one time with you…if that’s all right."

His eyes softened as he laid his hands against her cold face, "All right? Sweetheart, I can think of nothing I’d rather do than to be with you."

"Will you start a fire?" She asked hopefully, feeling the chill setting in with her body.

Kissing her forehead, he immediately moved to the box of matches on the wooden mantle and lit the paper that had already been stuffed in amongst the logs. A moment later and the flame had taken hold of the newspaper and would soon be igniting the wood as well. Grinning, he turned back to her expectedly, "Now what?" He was not about to assume anything, "Your wish is my command."

Her dark eyes sparkled and she appeared thoughtful for a moment, "Will you check and see if there is anything to drink."

"Of course," Andrew replied as he turned to walk to the little kitchen area, finding a thermostat on the way and turning it up to warm up the cabin. He then opened the fridge, nearly chuckling at some of the things that were on the shelf. Champagne, whipped cream, even strawberries, "In case they need it, my ass," He muttered to himself with a small laugh. This cabin had been used, and recently, and he was sure it had nothing to do Paul and Alex needing a nap after a long ride.

Knowing Monica’s dislike for alcohol, he rummaged through and found some orange juice and then a few champagne glasses. As an afterthought, he added a little bubbly to the juice, thinking it would not be very strong and there was the chance that Monica would enjoy it more that way. Turning around, he didn’t see her, but he heard water running in the bathroom. She had left the door open, so he approached and a sweet smile crossed his face at the sight of her lighting candles around the garden tub. She had already shed her clothing, and he was already fighting an erection at the sight of her.

Sensing his gaze, Monica turned around and approached him, lips twitching into a grin at the way he was looking at her so hungrily, "Is my wish still your command?"

"Always, angel," He replied huskily, handing her a glass before kissing her.

"Then will you warm up in the bath with me?" She murmured against his lips.

"Then what, baby?"

"Then will you love me?" The words were whispered, her mouth brushing against his and he nearly groaned at the simple but so meaningful words.

"I’ll always love you, my little angel, any way you want me to," He met her lips once more and her lips parted to grant him access, the kiss leaving her breathless.

"You’re the one overdressed this time," Monica pointed out with a giggle, but when he started to unbutton his shirt, she stopped him, "Allow me." She took the task from him, slowly unbuttoning the deep green heavy shirt he was wearing, her lips brushing over each inch of his chest as it was exposed. When she undid the last button, she pushed the shirt back over his shoulders, her palms running over them as the shirt fell to the floor. Kissing her way down his chest once more, her nimble fingers moved to unbutton his jeans, pulling them slowly down his hips, along with his boxers to the floor. He had already done away with his boots and socks and now stepped out of the rest of his clothing. His entire body was already on fire, despite the fact that the heat in the cabin was taking its time in warming up.

"You’re shivering, angel," He noticed, coming to his senses briefly. He took her glass from her and set them both on the side of the tub, "Let’s get you warmed up," As he helped her step into the bath, his lips brushed against her ear as he whispered, "And then I’ll set you on fire."

A pleasant shiver went up her spine at his words and his warm breath against her ear as they sank into the bubble filled tub together. They took their time, Monica relaxing in his arms as the hot water warmed her before she turned around to face him, legs tangled around each other as she laid bubbles against his face, giggling at the image of him with a white beard. Every laugh and every sparkle in her eyes went straight to Andrew’s heart and it wasn’t long before his questing mouth had covered hers once more. They kissed and teased, his hands cupping and stroking her breasts, brushing over the sensitive nipples until the water had begun to cool and when Monica reached beneath the water to stroke him gently, he knew it was time to move onto other things.

"What do you say we move this into the other room, baby?" He whispered, his mouth tracing along her jaw and down her ivory throat.

"I was thinking the same thing," Monica agreed as he stood up and extended his hand to her. She took it, still slippery from the bubbles, but warm and strong as she followed him from the tub. Andrew stopped her from grabbing a towel and he took it instead, taking his time with thoroughly drying her body. He was already aching for her and was surprised when she gave him a tiny shove towards the door, "Go on in. I’ll be right there."

He raised his eyebrows curiously, but did as she asked, unable to resist one more kiss. The cabin had warmed up significantly as he walked to the bedroom and turned down the comforter, occupying himself as he waited for her and wondering what she was up to. He didn’t have to wait long. His wife appeared in the doorway, clad in a thin white nightgown that was unlike anything he had ever seen her wear to bed before and his breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. The material was very thin, and he could see every curve and the outline of her full breasts and he was sure his mouth was hanging open, though he had not taken the time to think about it.

Monica’s expression was slightly uncertain, "Alex insisted we go shopping before our flight," She explained, "I wasn’t sure, but she said-."

He didn’t give her time to finish. He had crossed the room and had taken her into his arms, his mouth devouring her hungrily until they were both gasping for breath, "You look beautiful, but please be warned that anytime you are wearing this, I will be unable to keep my hands off of you."

She laughed softly, completely reassured and gave a small squeak of surprise when he scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the bed, carefully lying her down. He stood above her, his eyes feasting on the incredible creature who was his wife, before he joined and they picked up where they had left off. Their tongues dueled hungrily as Andrew’s hands stroked her body, causing soft moans and little sighs to come from her between kisses. Though he loved the nightie, it wasn’t long before it had been discarded and she was bare once more beneath him, her hands massaging his shoulders as she urged him on desperately.

Kissing down to her breasts, he lapped and nibbled at her nipples, causing small cries of delight and passion to fill the room. Her fingers were intertwined in his hair, pressing him closer, her need to be joined with him growing steadily. When his hand reached down to stroke her most treasured place, Monica’s hips moved to meet his exploring fingers and he smiled against her breast, stroking her slowly, building up her fire. The dampness there had nothing to do with the bath and he was already hard against her thigh. Monica could feel it as well and she let out a soft whimper of need as she reached down and grabbed him, guiding him to her entrance.

"Please, Andrew…Please…I need you now…"

Kissing back up her body, he met her lips once more as she wrapped her arms around his neck, "I need you every moment of every day, angel," He whispered hoarsely, "I love you, all of you. From everything I can see and feel all the way down to those things you keep in your heart. I will always love you…" On the last word, he thrust into her heat and his wife’s cry of passion filled the room. He stroked her slowly, letting her need for release build, before increasing his thrusts, nearly sending her to the edge and then slowing back down once more. She met each stroke with her hips, grinding herself against him, desperate now, soft pleas and words of love a constant flow from her lips.

Knowing he had teased her enough, and also knowing he would not be able to hold back much longer himself, Andrew picked up the pace once more, thrusting hard and strongly into her, feeling the way they fit together, loving the way they always moved together, whether it be in love making or in the world and he felt moisture in his eyes. A moment later, and with his name a cry on her tongue, she climaxed against him, her breaths coming short as shudders overcame her body. As she tightened against him, he was completed with a shout and only his elbows held him up from falling on top of her from the intensity of it.

Still embedded within her warmth, able to still feel the spasms of her orgasm against him, Andrew reached up and touched her face, the gesture holding such love and tenderness that she opened her eyes, "You’re everything to me," He whispered and the tears glistening in his eyes went straight to her heart as she held him close.

"I love you," Monica uttered, kissing his cheek, her hands running over his back, "I want to always belong to you."

"You will, angel. Everyday for the rest of eternity."

*****

Paul was nearly finished with the fire, and he poked at the crackling newspaper as the flames caught and flickered around the dry wood. He sat back on his heels and looked over his shoulder, expecting to see Alex curled up on the sofa. Instead she was just walking into the room, the comforter from their bed almost tripping her as she carried it in. Chuckling lightly he moved to help her and spread it out on the floor.

"You know," he said with a grin, "I would have been happy just to snuggle."

She stared up at him for a moment and raised one eyebrow. "Snuggle my ass! I’m surprised you took the time to light the fire!"

Paul’s eyes narrowed but an instant later he had picked her up in his arms and was lying her down on the comforter. "Well this isn’t exactly how I had imagined this, but I’m willing to improvise," he whispered into her ear.

"Improvise?" A shiver ran up her spine at the tone of his voice.

"Yes… I seem to recall that you owe me a little something from last night."

Alex smirked up at him and let her hands trail down his chest to his waist. "Oh, I do, do I?" she said as she unbuttoned his pants.

"Why yes you do, but that’s not what I had in mind." He gently pulled her hands away and leaned down to kiss her deeply.

The sensations he managed do draw from her with merely a kiss had her shifting pleasantly beneath him even as he pulled her sweater up and off, and unsnapped the clasp of her bra. Her jeans were the next to go, followed immediately by her panties, and when she lay naked before him he leaned back and gazed down at her, feeling his own breath quicken at the sight.

Lying there, looking up at him crouched down next to her, still fully clothed, Alex couldn’t help but feel that there was something slightly perverse and yet undeniably erotic about the scene, and particularly about the way he was raking his eyes up and down her body. "Someone still looks awfully overdressed," she said as she reached for him."

"No, I don’t think so," he said with a sly smile. "I think I’m a whole lot safer with my clothes on. I need to keep my wits about me."

"No you don’t," she purred. "Really… I prefer you witless…" she reached for him again, but he caught her hand in his and chuckled.

"I know you do!" He kissed the palm of her hand and then reached for the other and did the same to it. "Now these little beauties are what got you in trouble last night but I think I have something that will keep them busy."

Alex looked like she had a few ideas about that as well, but her expression turned to surprise as he gently placed them over her own breasts. "Paul?"

"Go ahead," his breath was hot against her ear. "Don’t tell me you’ve never touched them before." His tongue traced along her earlobe and she let out a long moan before doing what he asked.

Her reward was another breathtaking kiss, and by the time he let her come up for air she was expertly kneading the soft mounds and toying with the already erect tips.

"Looks like you’re quite good at that," he said as he pulled back long enough to watch her for a moment.

"It helps to be intimately familiar with the equipment," she murmured. Her legs were already beginning to move restlessly against the comforter and as a jolt of feeling shot from her nipple to her throbbing center she let out another, higher moan.

Paul’s hand slid down her side, loving the soft feel of her skin as he skimmed along her waist and over her hip. Her legs fell open and she was urging him on with her words as well, but he took his time, stroking down her thighs, tickling at the back of her knees, and kissing the little silky smooth dimples just below her hips.

"Please… Please… Paul… touch me…" she whispered over and over as his fingers moved closer to their goal.

When he finally stroked his fingers up and down the length of her she let out a keening sigh and immediately arched to meet his hand. Her own were still desperately working at her breasts, and Paul’s eyes widened as he saw that she was pinching her nipples and squeezing much harder than he would ever dare. He eased his way up her body, still keeping one hand between her legs, moving through her wet folds, and delving into her core just enough to make her beg for more. He kissed her deeply and then left a series of open mouthed kisses down her neck, along her collarbone and down to her breasts. Her hands stopped their frantic motion as he kissed and licked his way from one breast to the next, gently lapping at the already reddened tips, soothing and enflaming them at the same time. Her breathing was just beginning to even out as he kissed the center of her breastbone and then thrust two fingers straight into her pulsing center. She bit back a scream and he caught her eye and motioned to her hands.

"As you were," he said with a lusty grin, waiting until she was back to driving herself mad before moving down to position his mouth above her gyrating hips.

With incredible gentleness he placed his forearm across her lower abdomen, pinning her in place. His name was already pouring from her lips and when he fastened his mouth around her she simply increased the volume of her cries. He was driving her higher and higher, relentlessly, but each time she was sure he was going to push her over the edge he backed off, just enough to keep her hanging there. It was a sweet torment as he drank her in, running his tongue along her folds, plunging deeply into her only to drag himself back to her sensitive button each time, flicking it rapidly sometimes, and lazily feasting on it others. She was certain that if she didn’t go insane her heart would surely give out if he didn’t allow her to fall. He could sense the tension that ran through her body, and he pressed his fingers into her again, this time adding a third, just enough to pleasantly stretch her silken walls. When she felt this new intrusion she was sure that this was the time, and her body surged forward, rushing towards completion. With his tongue pressed against her and his fingers gently stroking her from the inside he felt her upcoming climax and smiled, then quickly pulled his hand away and sat up, leaving her gasping and throbbing, just an instant shy of satisfaction.

"Paul! Paul, what… Paul, please!" Alex eyes snapped open and fastened onto his.

"Remember, baby, all of our little actions have consequences. This is the consequence for last night," he grinned as he watched her fingers tighten around her breasts and her hips still moving against nothing, desperate for contact.

"Paul…" her voice was more like a sigh and he leaned over and kissed her before slowly beginning to undress. She closed her eyes for a second, feeling the unbelievable arousal that was thrumming through her body. If this was the consequence, she was going to have to remember to repeat that little action.

The man who at times had been so eager to make love to her that he had literally ripped his clothes off, now spent an inordinate amount of time unbuttoning each button and lazily removing his shirt. He smiled at her when one of her hands began to snake lower to give herself relief and then met her gaze.

"Uh,uh,uh… I don’t remember telling you to move those," he said, indicating her hands, and she moaned and went back to teasing her nipples as he slid one finger through her slick folds, making her jump. "Yep, still ready," he chuckled.

"Oh, I’m way more than ready," she replied throatily, and something about the tone of her voice and the look in her eye, or maybe it was the way she spread her legs slightly wider and held her breasts up in offering, but suddenly his erection, which was already present, grew to painful proportions.

He tried to be casual as he unbuttoned his jeans and slid them down, along with his boxers, but when he sprang free, long and hard, Alex couldn’t keep the smug grin off her face. Yes, he was quickly approaching not just ready, but needy. He moved between her legs and quickly wiped the grin off her face as he captured her lips in his and slid the length of himself up and down her dripping center.

"Paul… please… I need to touch you… please?" she gasped out as he left her mouth and trailed kisses down her jaw.

He raised himself up and looked at her with complete love and adoration, then picked up one of her hands, kissed it and placed it over his heart. "Whatever you want, baby. I think you know this has all been for you."

She nodded shortly as she quickly placed her other hand on his chest as well, a quick tear coming to her eye at the love she could practically feel radiating from him. And then most of her senses were stolen again as he plunged into her fully, dragging a cry from her lips as she kneaded his shoulders and thrust up against him. She had been kept on the razor’s edge for so long that it hardly seemed fair to tease her any more, and yet he did, bringing her as high as he could and then slowing his pace. Her hands roamed over his chest, tweaking at his flat nipples, and feeling each hardened muscle as she pleaded with him to finish her off.

It wasn’t her words, so much as the way she quickly tightened her lower muscles around him, which made his decision for him. A guttural moan sprang from between his lips and he moved within her harder and faster, pushing them both towards the inevitable. The words of encouragement streaming from her mouth had turned to words of love, and as he finally exploded into her, she screamed out her release as his own shout echoed through the room. She continued to pulse and throb around him, seeming to climax again and again as she gasped for air and wrapped her arms around his neck. His face was buried against her shoulder and as she finally began to come down her hands fell away to clutch weakly at the comforter.

Still moving within her to draw out every last sensation, Paul kissed her shoulder and then raised his head. "That… was incredible," he muttered as he kissed her cheek and then each closed eyelid. She made no move to answer and his half closed eyes widened. "Babe? Alex?" Her eyes remained stubbornly shut although a beatific smile graced her features. She was unconscious and Paul was instantly kneeling astride her, patting her cheeks, and calling her name. "Alex! Wake up, Alex… this isn’t funny!" His heart was racing again, but this time not pleasantly, and he was just about to run and call ‘911’ when her eyes lazily slid open.

"Mmmmm…. Paul…" her smile broadened and she let out a little squeak as he gathered her into his arms and hugged her tight.

"Thank God! Thank GOD!" he exclaimed roughly.

She looked up into his face and her expression changed. "What? What is it?"

"Alex, you passed out," he told her as his heart finally began to calm.

Given that she was still feeling a pleasant throb deep in her core, she was a bit surprised, but then again, that would explain the flash of light as the third… or was it the fourth? climax hit.

"Ooohh… well it was incredible," she purred. "When can we do it again?" She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his chest.

Paul rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. "Let’s wait until my heart dislodges from my throat and then we’ll talk about it."

"Sounds good… I’ve got all weekend."

Chapter 9

Andrew stirred and gazed lovingly down at his still sleeping wife, his heartbeat quickening just by looking at her. In sleep, she looked so sweet and innocent and nothing like the sexy little angel who had appeared in the doorway two hours ago with barely a nightgown covering her. Once they had come to their senses, they had retired to the living room and curled up on the sofa, contentedly watching the fire until they had fallen asleep in each others arms.

Her soft, warm breasts were pressed bare up against his chest, her head tucked just under his chin and he could just make out the tiny smile on her lips as she slept. It was one of those moment when he could sense nothing but peace coming from her heart and he silently thanked God for allowing them this time together, away from all the troublesome things that had been happening around them. She looked positively precious and he was unable to resist kissing her forehead tenderly, smiling when her lashes fluttered and she looked up at him with a sleepy-eyed smile.

"Was I asleep very long?" Monica asked with a tiny stretch and a little yawn.

"For a bit and so was I. The rest did us both some good, as well as what came before it," Andrew added with a twinkle in his eye.

She giggled and ran her hand up his chest, stilling it against his heart, feeling the familiar beat against her palm, "Yes, the prelude was wonderful," She smiled shyly and his heart fluttered, finding it adorable.

Cupping her face, he kissed her softly, his tongue tracing lightly over her lips, "The way I feel about you, baby…nothing else can even compare. You’re my world, angel. Other than serving God, my greatest goal is to make you happy."

Happy tears formed in her dark eyes as she gazed up into his, clearly able to see the love that they held for her and it took her breath away, making her wonder how at times she could ever doubt, "I want to do that for you too, Andrew."

"Sweetheart, you do. Every minute of every day. You always have," He pulled her to himself and held her tightly.

"You make me happy all the time," She said on a breath, before she chuckled ruefully, "Well, most of the time anyway."

Andrew grinned, knowing she was referring to the other day in the café and the words caused both a pang of regret and a feeling of relief. At the very least, she was teasing him about making her upset and it was much more honest then simply blaming herself, "Yes, well, next time, I’ll just have to take you in hand in a much nicer way," He informed her, his eyes flashing mischief.

A delightful shiver ran up her spine, "Sounds interesting and much more pleasurable. Especially as if you do anything like the other day and I don’t attack back. I’ll have Alex to answer to."

"Well, you thought about fighting back," He surmised with a chuckle deep in his chest as he quoted her, "Are you sure I can trust the driver?" Monica laughed, the sound filling the room, before his expression became more serious, "How about we just leave it at I want you to be safe, always. Forcing yourself to feel something that isn’t really there does not count, regardless of how it turns out," Andrew watched as she nodded her head solemnly and he cupped her chin in his hand, "I always want you back in my arms at the end of the day, in one piece, safe and sound. There is no other option that I can bear. Do we have a deal?"

"We have a deal," She consented, before a mischievous grin crossed her face, "But if I ever forget, you may need to remind me in that ‘much nicer way’."

"Count on it, angel," He told her with mock sternness, enjoying the second little shiver his words brought. Looking over at the clock on the mantle, he gave a disappointed sigh, "It’s nearly three ‘o clock and we should probably put things back to rights and head back. It will be dark by five and the ride is an hour."

"Andrew?" Her hopeful eyes flew to his face, startling him slightly.

"Baby, what is it? What’s wrong?"

The shy smile returned and she reached up to wrap her arms around his neck, "Nothing is wrong…I just…would you love me one more time before we have to go?"

His expression softened and he forgot all about the time as he kissed her tenderly, "With pleasure, my little angel."

*****

"Ah, sounds like the kids are home at long last," Paul smirked, knowing his wife had been all but pacing the floor the last half hour since darkness had fallen. He watched in amusement as the woman who had been writhing beneath his touch, as well as her own earlier that day, sprang to her feet and he chuckled as he called out towards the kitchen, "Someone is gonna get grounded!"

It was true that Alex had a scolding all ready on the tip of her tongue, but at seeing the two angels, she nearly audibly swallowed it. Andrew looked more peaceful than she had seen him in some time, and Monica…the little angel was practically glowing. Her expression softened and a slow smile crept across her face. Yes, the old cabin must have been just what the doctor ordered.

"Did you have a nice ride?" She asked, directing her attention to Andrew as she winked at him. Ah, touche, he was nearly blushing.

"As a matter of fact, we did," He replied with a smile, "I noticed the seats on the rental cars are holding up all right. I assume you two stayed in today?"

Damn him! Even Monica was suppressing a giggle and the angel had lowered her head to hide a smile, "Yes, we did. Did a bit of cleaning and a little work on the nursery."

"Of course you did," Andrew’s voice was subtly patronizing, "Oh and we found your cabin. It really is equipped with all you and Paul could ever need in the event of an… emergency."

As Alex narrowed her eyes at him, Monica, with an amused grin, slipped from Andrew’s arms, which were wrapped around her waist and headed for the safety of the living room.

"Hey there, sweetheart," Paul greeted her with a smile, "You’re lucky you got back. Alex was about to notify the National Guard."

"Yes, well right now she’s a bit occupied with other things. I believe Andrew has thrown down the gauntlet," She saw Paul’s questioning look and she giggled and simply shook her head just as their spouses came into the living room. Alex was looking rather smug and Monica had a feeling that her friend had come up with something a bit racier once she had left the room, but she was fairly certain she didn’t want to know.

Taking her place beside of her husband, Alex watched as Andrew sank down on the love sofa and tugged Monica along with him, "So are you two hungry?" She asked sweetly, ignoring the confused look on her husband’s face, "Surely you worked up an appetite this afternoon."

Paul, completely oblivious to where the two angels had been was further perplexed when poor Monica blushed from the roots her hair and all the way down her neck. He was just opening his mouth to question them, when Andrew interrupted.

"Looks as if you did too," The angel replied evenly and Alex followed his eyes to the little niche between the wood bin and the recliner.

Fuck. Her bra.

"Okay, tell you what," Paul announced, rising to his feet, "I’ll tend to dinner. You three tend to whatever…whatever you want to call this."

Monica was half laughing, half still completely embarrassed as she looked up him helplessly, "Paul, please, let me help. This…whatever has nothing to do with me."

Paul reached for her hand and the two of them headed into the kitchen leaving Andrew and Alex engaged in a battle of smug looks. Surprisingly, Alex was the first to back down as she burst into laughter and retrieved her bra from the floor, twirling it around her finger before shoving it under the sofa cushion for later retrieval.

"So," she said, deciding to change the subject, at least slightly, "Monica seems better… and even you look more relaxed. You’re earlier worries put to rest?"

Andrew gave a little shrug but he smile remained in place. "Definitely better… at least for the moment. As for my worries… let’s face it, they’re never going to completely go away. Right now I’m just trusting that she’ll tell me what’s on her mind if something is really bothering her."

"Well that sounds like a plan. At least it isn’t affecting your love life any," she had to get that last little teasing remark in, but Andrew’s very satisfied grin left her on the verge of laughter.

"Nope… that seems to be in good shape," he smirked. "Of course we have stiff competition in you and Paul," he cocked one eyebrow.

"Okay, okay, truce!" she held up her hands in mock surrender. "I still can’t believe you told Monica about the car," she continued, wagging her finger, "and don’t tell me you didn’t! I saw the look on her face a minute ago when you mentioned the car seats."

Andrew’s reply was a loud laugh. "Actually, she figured that one out all on her own, and trust me, I was just as surprised as you that she caught on! Apparently it was your hair that gave you away."

"Damn sex hair! Remind me to put a comb in the glove box." She was shaking her head and rolling her eyes to the ceiling in exaggerated annoyance.

Andrew chuckled and leaned back, stretching his arms along the back of the loveseat. "This weekend was a perfect idea, Alex. I can’t thank you and Paul enough. Without your support…"

"Don’t be silly! Sheesh! I’d need all my fingers and toes to count the number of things you two have done for us. Believe me, this is the very least we can do. Anyway, I think I needed to get away for a bit myself. This whole case is affecting me more than I want to admit." Her playful expression had turned more serious and she idly tossed a few more pieces of kindling into the already blazing fire.

"That’s not exactly surprising," Andrew commented gently, remembering how Paul had told him that she had been suffering from nightmares.

"I know… the baby… and everything that goes with that…" She let out a long sigh as she sat down again. "It’s not that this kind of case is ever easy, but this time…" She shook her head sadly. "Maybe after seeing everything Monica went through I’m even more sensitive about it than I used to be anyway, and thinking about our baby just makes it that much harder."

"Sounds very normal to me, and I’ve never thought that feeling more sympathetic towards people is a bad thing," he reassured her.

"Yeah… I’ve gotten more understanding about a lot of things since I met you two and Paul," she said with a soft smile.

They both looked up as Monica poked her head into the room. "Paul says if you’re done snipping at each other, dinner’s just about ready," she said, eyes shining playfully.

"We done," Andrew told her as he stood and gave Alex a hand up as well.

"Let me guess, he made pasta and sauce," Alex joked, knowing that although Paul was a very good cook he always fell back on the easy bachelor favorites after what they liked to call ‘busy afternoons’.

Monica looked at her with surprise. "How did you know?"

"Wifely intuition," Alex grinned.

They passed into the kitchen and Paul was already busily dishing out the food. "I hope everyone is hungry. I think I made more than we actually needed…"

"You always do," Alex teased. The phone rang shrilly but with a smile on her face she went to answer it. "Hello?" she said cheerfully. Her expression changed almost immediately and the others watched her as she spoke. "Has anyone been in to see her?" she asked, and then, "Well is there any indication of when that will be?" and finally, "No, of course not. Yeah, we’ll be back on Monday. Thanks for the update." She hung up the phone and looked at the three pairs of eyes trained on her. They had all been having such a relaxing day, and she hated that she was the one to spoil it.

"I assume that wasn’t just a courtesy call," Paul said flatly.

"I wish," she replied. "Krista woke up." She watched as Andrew protectively circled his wife with his arms. "One of our people was allowed to talk to her briefly but she really didn’t give her much. Obviously her parents are worried about pushing her, and with all the medication she’s on, she’s still pretty out of it. They’ve offered to let one of the Bureau psychologists try to talk to her, but not for a few days. Right now they just want her to rest."

Alex’s face was a mask of frustration and grief and Paul moved to her side and gently gripped her shoulder. "At least she’s awake now," he said. "She’s getting better."

"I know," she said lowly, not trusting herself to say anything else. The words of anger and disgust were close to the surface but they wouldn’t help anyone.

"I want to go see her." Monica’s voice was quiet, yet strong and determined.

"Baby…"

She tilted her head upwards. "I need to see her again. I can help her. I know I can."

He closed his eyes and pulled her closer. Of course she could. He had no doubts about that.

"Now?" Paul asked. He had seen the look in her eye before and he knew better than to take it lightly.

Monica looked at him, and at Alex and shook her head. "No… I don’t want to make you leave so soon, and Alex already said her parents don’t want her talking to anyone right now."

"I don’t think you’re just anyone," Alex said. "We’ll leave tomorrow morning."

*****

Andrew sat down on the edge of their bed that night, facing Monica who was already curled up and waiting for him. She looked up at him questioningly, clearly able to see that there was something on his mind, but she waited for him to speak.

"I want to come with you," He finally said, his tone not allowing for any discussion, though he hated sounding that way, "When you go to see Krista, I’m coming with you. I’ll stay out of her room as I’m sure she won’t want to see any strange men lurking around, but you aren’t going alone."

"All right," She replied softly, sitting up as she reached tentatively for his hand and was surprised at how strong his grasp on it was when he took it.

"I’m not doubting your ability to help her, sweetheart," He continued, his gaze steadily meeting hers, "I know you’ll be able to. I’m just afraid…I don’t want you getting hurt by doing it. You’re still healing, Monica and you’ve worked so hard at it. I don’t want you expecting too much from yourself. You have a tendency to do that, baby, and I don’t want you pushing."

Monica squeezed his hand gently, still resolved to not allow him to worry so much about her, "I’ll do my best not to. I just want to see her…to see if there is anything I can say to her to make it better. Only someone who has been there knows how horrible it is and how badly it hurts." She saw a brief flash of hurt in his eyes and she backpedaled gently, laying her other hand against his face, "You understand as much as you possibly can, Andrew. You saw how badly he hurt me and because you love me, you’ve been able to empathize with me so very much and you’ve been perfectly wonderful. I couldn’t have come this far without you," Reaching up, she kissed him softly, "But some of the emotional stuff…the things that continue to go through my mind…they are so hard to explain. They are the things that happened when he raped me.. the things he made me feel. Even if there were words to explain them to you, I don’t think you’d be able to…not fully."

Andrew sighed heavily and took her hand from his face, kissing her palm, "I suppose that no matter how much I think I understand about you, there are some things that are just not meant for me to comprehend…that as you said, no matter how hard I try, I just would not be able to. But here is what I do understand. I understand that son of a bitch hurt the most precious soul in my existence, in the worst way he could. I understand how hard you’ve worked to get to this point and I want you to understand that I am going to be there every step of the rest of the way down this road; right beside you, angel, always."

Her eyes sparkled with tears as she smiled, "I wouldn’t want it any other way."

He kissed her tenderly as he swiped at a tear that had escaped, "Now that we got that settled, you need to get some sleep. We’re leaving early tomorrow and if you are going to see Krista, a good night’s rest will help."

Her face formed into a little pout, "No nightcap?"

"No," He told her, but he chuckled at her expression just the same, "It’s late and we had a…busy day."

"But we had a nap," She protested, a twinkle in her eye, but seeing his stern expression, she sighed, "Okay, fine. You want to sleep, we’ll sleep." Lying back down, she waited for him to turn out the light and join her.

Andrew was hiding a smile as he switched off the bedside lamp and laid down on his back, staring at the ceiling for a moment, wishing that the return to Washington tomorrow wasn’t going to change the peace his wife had been feeling since coming to the farm. He could pray that it would not, but his heart was already telling him that he knew almost exactly what would happen. And there was still the matter of what her assignment was to consider.

He started to roll over, but before he could, he felt a warmth overtop of him and Monica’s lips against his chest. Amused, he ventured a little swat to her backside, chuckling at the startled yelp that escaped her, "I thought we decided to sleep?" He already knew he had lost the battle that he had never really wanted to partake in anyway.

"No, you decided," His wife replied playfully, giving her hips a little sway over his chest, "And don’t start something you don’t intend to finish."

Andrew nearly choked on his laugh at her words, but he was quickly learning she was one for games at times when it came to intimacy between them and obviously, his little swat had made some kind of an impact. Leaning up, he kissed her softly, before startling her as he flipped her over his lap and she gave out a little squeak. Somehow she had shed her nightgown while he had been deep in thought, and now he had an easy target.

Monica was giggling, trying to keep it quiet, lest Paul and Alex were still awake, and she squirmed temptingly over his legs. She knew he would never hurt her and that fact was further driven home, when his hand fell gently. It was only the tiniest of stings, and he immediately rubbed his hand over it, kneading the soft flesh and making her squirm in an entirely different way.

He continued on, trying to contain his own laughter, alternating between light smacks on her bottom and rubbing the area, listening to her little squeaks and when his hand moved down a bit lower a few minutes later, the squeaks turned to moans. His own arousal pressed hard against her stomach at feeling how wet she was and he continued to stroke his fingers through her folds, watching as she raised her hips to allow him access.

"Now will you be good and sleep?" He asked her playfully, removing his hand and hearing her impatient sigh of protest.

"Andrew!"

Flipping her back over with one swift movement, he laid her back and plunged into her, unable to contain himself any longer, "You are such a little imp," He growled, his eyes shining with adoration for her. She was completely lost in the moment, his strong and steady thrusts all she was aware of as he fully ignited the fire he had started. She met each stroke, matching his rhythm as she struggled to contain her cries of passion. Reaching between them, Andrew ran two fingers against her and sent her plunging into oblivion, capturing her scream with his kiss, continuing to move within her as her body shuddered and her silken walls constricted against him. He followed soon afterwards, spilling into her, even as she tumbled once more with a sweet smile on her face.

Still straddling her, Andrew reached up and smoothed his fingers through her hair, completely intoxicated with her openness today. It could only leave him to wonder the things they would share once everything was more or less completely behind her.

"That was wonderful," She purred, opening her eyes to gaze up at him, pleasant shivers still running through her body.

"You’re the one who is wonderful, angel. I’m so very blessed by your trust in me." He replied softly, kissing her forehead.

"I’ll always trust you with every part of me, Andrew, just like I’ll love you with every part of me as well." She gave a little yawn and then grinned, "Sleepy now…I’ll be good."

Laughing softly, her husband moved back against the pillows and pulled her into his arms, "Dunno. I may prefer you being not so good." He winked at her, enjoying the magical sound of her giggle.

"Is this what you meant about taking me in hand in a much nicer way?" Monica teased, nestling her head up against his chest, seeking out the familiar heartbeat.

"Nooo," He grinned, with a shake of his head, "Though it could be food for thought. Now go to sleep, baby."

Hearing his teasing tone, the little angel smiled and closed her eyes.

Still grinning, Andrew gave her a little squeeze before closing his own eyes, opening one a moment later as he felt her hand snake down between his legs, "Monica…"

Returning her hand to his chest, she stifled another giggle and closed her eyes once more, "Just testin’."

Chapter 10

He flipped off the television and leaned back, eyes closing half way. She was awake. He hadn’t expected that. Of course he hadn’t expected to take her in the first place. The whole thing had been sloppy and unplanned, not at all like the others, but it had been so convenient. She’d been walking right by the building, and grabbing her had felt like second nature. Stupid. Very stupid. He hadn’t hit any of the others but she knew where he lived. He couldn’t let that memory stay with her. Damn. He had really expected her to be unconscious for longer. He didn’t think she’d remember, but he couldn’t take the chance. He was going to have to move on. He just had one more he had to have first. He’d been watching her for months and he wasn’t going to let all that planning go to waste.

*****

"We’ll be touching down in a few minutes," Paul called back from the cockpit. He had elected to fly them back himself and avoid the crowd at the main airport. Now he wasn’t sure if he’d made the right decision or not. A little more time before being thrown back into the thick of things wouldn’t have been a bad idea for any of them.

"Did you call Jeff and tell him to drop off our car?" Alex asked. Jeff had dropped Andrew and Paul off on Friday afternoon and driven their car back to the Bureau garage.

"Yeah, he said he was going to leave it at the terminal."

Alex nodded and then turned to where Andrew and Monica sat, his arm protectively draped over her shoulder.

"I think we should go back to the townhouse first, don’t you?" she said, hoping that if she could get them all back there then maybe she could convince Monica to postpone her visit. She didn’t want to interfere, but at the same time she knew what a fragile state the angel was in and she wasn’t in a hurry to see her lose the spark she’d had the day before

Monica tilted her head to look over at her friend and gave her a little smile. "I know what you’re trying to do, Alex, and I love you for it, but this is something I just have to do. You and Paul can drop us off and we’ll take a cab back to the townhouse."

"No… we’ll wait for you."

Andrew met the woman’s eyes over the Monica’s head and the look there said more than his next words did. "Really, Alex. We’ll be fine. I’m sure you and Paul will have things to catch up on. Maybe they’ve come up with some leads."

Alex nodded reluctantly. Clearly Andrew thought that he and Monica might need a little time alone after her visit and she didn’t want to step on his toes. "You’re probably right. We’ll take care of all that stuff and then the four of us can go out to dinner when you get back."

"That sounds like a good idea."

"Could we go to that little Italian place around the corner?" Monica asked, raising her head from Andrew’s shoulder. She wasn’t sure how much she’d feel like eating but she was determined to try her hardest not to let anything else, especially this visit, pull her back into a depression.

*****

The hallway down to Krista’s room was just as long and sterile and cold looking as it had been before, but with Andrew’s hand firmly wrapped around hers she felt much stronger than the last time she had walked it. They were just passing the nurse’s station when the sound of fast moving footsteps was followed by a light hand on Monica’s shoulder. She gave a little start and turned around, not noticing how Andrew’s eyes narrowed at the man who had approached them.

"I’m sorry, Monica, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you." It was Shawn, and he was looking at them both apologetically although he avoided Andrew’s steely gaze.

"That’s all right," Monica replied warmly. "Shawn, this is my husband, Andrew."

Andrew seemed almost reluctant to hold out his hand, but he did, giving a nod of hello, and Shawn took and gave it a shake, looking only slightly uncomfortable. The waves of protectiveness coming off the angel were difficult to miss.

"Glad to meet you," he said. "Monica, I’m sorry if anything I said when you were last here upset you. I was afraid you might not come back."

"No… that wasn’t your fault. I have some… issues I’m still working though. That’s all," Monica’s voice had dropped and Andrew gave her hand another gentle squeeze.

Shawn was still looking a little unsettled as he glanced over Monica’s shoulder towards Krista’s room. "You aren’t visiting her again are you?"

She seemed a little surprised at his question, but answered, "Yes… I was going to. I heard she had woken up, and I just wanted to talk to her for a minute."

"Her parents have been standing guard over her, so I don’t know how successful you’ll be at getting in there. From what I hear, they don’t want her talking about it and I can’t say as I blame them." His formerly open expression had changed and Monica’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Well if they won’t let me in, then I won’t push them, but I don’t plan to upset her…"

Andrew could tell that in fact she was the one who was beginning to get upset and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Of course you don’t," he said firmly, staring at the man in front of them.

"No! No, I didn’t mean you would. Don’t mind me… I’m probably just more involved than I should be… I’ve just seen this one too many times. Look, I’ll let you two go. I have some things I need to get done anyway. It was good to see you again, Monica."

"Yes… maybe we’ll see you again," she said. She was being too sensitive. She needed to let go of that if she was going to do Krista any good at all.

"Maybe… It was good to meet you, Andrew."

The blond angel nodded, sharply. "Yes, good to meet you," he replied. He watched as Shawn quickly turned around and headed towards the elevators. This was the man who had driven Monica to meet them. This was the man she had trusted. He tried to push his own doubts out of his head in favor of her judgment.

As they continued on their way down the hall he bent his head and whispered, "Are you sure this is what you want to do, angel? We can turn right around and go home."

"I’m sure, Andrew. Really."

They approached the door just as Krista’s parents were coming out, and the couple looked up at them with weary eyes.

"What’s going on? I thought we told you all that we didn’t want any of you talking to her until she’s stronger," Mr. Steiding positioned himself slightly in front of his wife as he sized up the two angels.

"We’re not from the authorities," Andrew replied, seeing his own protective streak mirrored in the man’s every movement.

"I was here a couple of days ago and I sat with Krista," Monica started. "I just wanted to see her again for a minute."

"We appreciate your concern, but she’s tired… she doesn’t need any more visitors," Mrs. Steiding said, the exhaustion plain in her voice.

"I know… I know," Monica said, feeling slightly stronger, "but I think… I really think that if you let me speak to her I may be able to give her a little bit of peace."

They both looked into the angel’s dark eyes and neither one of them was later able to say what made them change their minds. Was it the sincerity in her voice? The pleading in her eyes? Or was it the aura that seemed to surround her, a purity that touched even their grieving souls. All they knew was that a minute later they were heading down to the cafeteria, and Monica was pushing open the door to their daughter’s room.

Krista was fast asleep when the little angel walked into the room and she gave a weary sigh and sank down into the chair beside the little girl’s bed. The bruises on the child’s face didn’t seem quite so prominent today and without the life support machine hooked up to her, Monica could almost imagine the girl as she had once been…before evil had touched her. It was almost a surprising thought, but she realized that was how she would always see anyone who could inflict this kind of pain on someone else.

She noticed the stuffed toy that was held fast in Krista’s grip and she smiled sadly. A teddy bear. Her face was nuzzled against the soft plush toy, a reminder of the innocence of a child. The thought struck her then how different this little girl was from her. Krista knew someone had hurt her; that someone had caused her pain, but most importantly, Krista probably believed that the pain would heal and she would be fine. She was back with her parents and with those she loved and trusted and at seven years old, memories easily faded and were lost without constant reminders. Her parents would be a constant support system for her, probably telling her that a bad man had hurt her and that she was going to be all right. They would love her enough to help her forget and when it did hurt, they would hold her and reassure her.

Tears blurred her vision and she lowered her head, gazing down at her hands, a sparkle catching her eye and she ran finger over her engagement ring and wedding band. Wasn’t that exactly what Andrew had been doing for her? Hadn’t he already showed her that the memories could fade with time? They already had to some degree or she would never be able to make love to him as freely as she normally could, would never be able to allow him to hold her most of the time. He had taken all the places Grady had hurt and inflicted pain upon and had showed her a much more gentle touch, one that spoke of love and trust and such an incredibly deep commitment to her…simply because of who she was, because he loved her.

Monica realized she had been holding onto him every bit as tightly as Krista was holding onto the bear in her arms, because it brought her comfort and reassurance and more importantly, hope. She wiped at her eyes, trying in vain to clear away the tears as she struggled to continue on her train of thought. She had been doubting him, doubting his love for her, afraid he would change his mind, or that he didn’t need her.

A tiny place in her heart opened up then and allowed her to be reminded of the truth. God made no mistakes. Yes, things happened that made Him weep for His children, but didn’t He always give them what they needed to see it through? Andrew had said that he believed that God gave strength to every woman this had happened to, so didn’t God also give every woman this had happened to the people, or in this case, angel, who could help them see it through? But she had been doubting Andrew, and in turn, doubting God’s wisdom. God had known all along the things she would need and that all those things existed in her husband and because of that, He had turned their hearts toward each other.

Monica knew that there was more to she and Andrew than what had happened to her…so much more, yet she had allowed so much of what they had together to be defined by her rape. He had even told her as much. Andrew didn’t love her because she was raped; because that made her need him. He loved her despite that fact and he always would, no matter how long it took for her to completely heal. He would be there, just as he had always been, long before she had crossed paths with William Grady, and he would continue to be there forever after that particular road came to a long awaited end.

Yes, she still had healing to do, even she knew she wasn’t there yet. But she didn’t have to face it alone and she didn’t have to be afraid to share the pain with Andrew. He was there for her gladly, by his own choice, because he loved her so much and the realization of all these things caused the little angel’s heart to swell, even as emotion threatened to choke her. Krista would be fine and one day, she would be fine as well, because they both had people to love them, to hold them and to help shoulder the burden.

A tiny sob escaped her, and her eyes moved to the door, only wanting to race down the hall and fall into her husband’s arms. But the tiny noise was enough to awaken the sleeping girl and she looked up at Monica with a tiny trace of fear, but more curiosity.

Smiling through the tears, Monica reached for the hand that was smaller than her own and gave it a gentle squeeze, "Hello Krista. My name’s Monica and I just wanted to stop by to see how you’re doing."

Krista looked uncertain for a moment, but something about the angel relaxed her and she even managed a somewhat painful smile, "I’m feeling a little bit better. Why are you crying?"

She blinked rapidly, still trying to clear her dark eyes, "Because I know you’re going to be all right," She replied, only silently adding "and so will I."

"My daddy says that too," Krista stated softly.

"Do you believe him?"

A little nod and another tiny smile, "Yes. He always tells me the truth."

Monica closed her eyes briefly, thinking of someone else who always told her the truth, even when her mind wanted to reject it, "I’m sure he does, sweetheart. Your parents will take good care of you and so will God."

"I know," The little girl replied with faith that only a child could possess.

Looking towards the door, she noticed Krista’s parents returning, their expressions plainly showing their concern, "I’ll let you rest now, Krista. Thank you for talking to me."

Before Monica could pull away, Krista held tightly to her hand and the angel looked back to her, nearly startled by the look of understanding in the little girl’s eyes, "You’re going to be okay too, Monica."

Monica managed a shaky nod, not really certain of how much the child understood. What she did know was that though she had come in here to try to give Krista peace, things had turned out exactly the opposite. Turning to leave, she smiled at the Steidings as she whispered, "Thank you," then she was out the door, her eyes frantically scanning the hallway for Andrew.

Apparently sensing her, Monica watched as he stepped out of a small waiting room, his green eyes laden with worry and the unconditional love she had grown to depend on and before she could even think of what she was doing, she was walking as quickly as she could towards him, nearly breaking into a run as she got closer. He caught her up in his strong arms and held her tightly, his heart racing as he tried to prepare himself for whatever had happened in Krista’s room. But before he could ask any questions, she was already speaking, her words coming quickly and nearly breathlessly.

"I love you…I love you so much! You were right. You’ve been right about all of it. I never should have doubted you, never. You love me, you’re not going to give up on me or walk away. I know that now, I do!" Her words caught on a sob, but when she looked up at him, she was smiling through them, "I’m not there yet, I know that, but I know one day I’ll be better…because I have you…because God is with me…because He made me stronger then I often realize…but mostly because He gave me what He knew I’d need most…you, Andrew…you."

Monica’s startling but joy-filled words were enough to take Andrew’s breath away and he held her closer and kissed her dark hair before whispering, almost tearfully, "Of course you do, baby. Always."

"I’m so sorry it took this to make me realize the truth," she murmured as she felt the strong beat of his heart against her ear.

"Don’t be sorry. Sometimes insight can come from strange places."

"A little child shall lead them, and all that, right?" she said with a smile.

"Absolutely right."

Chapter 11

Alex was climbing the walls. It hadn’t been that long since they’d dropped the angels off at the hospital but she had already run through her worst-case scenario list three times. Paul was in the kitchen scrounging up dinner but she remained near the front door, listening for the sound of a car pulling up. She was so intent on hearing it that she hardly noticed Paul walking up behind her.

"They’re fine," he insisted as he settled his hands on her shoulders.

"I know that," she replied a bit touchily, "I’m just anxious to hear how it went, that’s all," she insisted.

A quick grin flitted across Paul’s face. His wife really was a softie. He leaned down and pushed her hair aside so that he could kiss her neck.

"I bet I could distract you for a little while," he said, one eyebrow raised.

"Paul! Quit it! They could be here any minute." She batted him away as he chuckled and grabbed her around the waist.

"So it would be a brief distraction," he said, placing another open mouthed kiss at the sensitive place where neck met shoulder, and touching the spot just lightly with his tongue.

She was just beginning to relax and reconsider when the crunching of tires on snow announced Monica and Andrew’s arrival.

"We’ll finish this later," he whispered in her ear, sending a shiver down her spin that made her suddenly wish he had asked her earlier.

"C’mon… we can’t be right by the door," she said as she turned around and started pushing him. "Back… back to the kitchen," she insisted.

Realizing that he would never fully understand the female brain, Paul simply gave a slight eye roll and obeyed. Less than five minutes later the couple heard the front door open and then footsteps in the hallway. Alex quickly opened the refrigerator and pretended to be searching for something while Paul stood back, looking amused. When Monica stepped into the room she quickly sized up the situation and her eyes took on that familiar concerned/slightly guilty look.

"I hope you two haven’t been worrying about us."

"Oh, you’re back?" Alex turned around and attempted to look innocent. "Of course not, sweetie!" With one cocked eyebrow the little angel managed to break through Alex’s charade. "Oh, fine! So maybe we’ve been a little concerned," she admitted.

"How did it go?" Paul asked, jumping in to rescue his wife.

"It went well," Monica said slowly. "Really well." She paused, her face turning thoughtful. "It’s hard to explain but seeing her… talking to her… It made me see things a little bit differently… and a lot more clearly." She leaned back, knowing that Andrew would be there to support her, and smiled happily as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Well I’m so glad! It’s about time you started having something good happen," Alex exclaimed.

Monica continued to smile and she covered Andrew’s hands with her own as she replied, "I think good things have been happening all along… but sometimes it just gets a little hard for me to see them."

*****

Shawn carried the limp girl up the back stairs and up to his apartment, the whole time asking himself what the hell he was doing. It was practically broad daylight. Someone had to have seen him! What the fuck was he thinking? He fumbled with his keys and managed to open the door and rush inside. The room was a mess, with the remains of a pizza on the coffee table and two days worth of clothes strewn over the sofa. He pushed aside a bad of old newspapers and moved into the bedroom. With bed neatly made and everything in its place, it was a contrast from the rest of the apartment. The bedroom had always been his job. She’d take care of the rest of the house, she’d said, as long as he made the bed. He’d kept up his end of the bargain for nearly fifteen years.

The girl didn’t move as he laid her down on the bed and he ran his hand nervously through his hair. This wasn’t like him. This wasn’t the methodical, organized, ex-cop. But she had been right there! He couldn’t have left her if he’d wanted to.

*****

"I have to go back into work," Paul stated as he hung up the telephone and looked over at his wife, "They’ll probably need you as well."

She looked at him in concern though she could already feel the knots forming in the pit of her stomach, "Tell me he doesn’t…" She let the thought hang in the air. They all knew how it ended.

"Sarah Witte was across the street from her house playing hide and seek with some friends. When it was her turn to hide, they never found her," His voice was disgusted as he laid his hands on Alex’s shoulders in comfort.

"I’m coming with you," Andrew stated, knowing he was still supposed to stay close to Paul and that he had no other choice, regardless of how much he wanted to stay with Monica. Turning to look at her, he felt a sense of dread at seeing her eyes closed, and a resigned expression on her face.

Sensing his gaze, she opened her eyes and they met with his, "I’ve been assigned," She explained softly.

"Where?" The angel’s voice was demanding as he clenched his hands, praying it was far away from here.

Monica hesitated for a moment, knowing he was not going to like her answer and when she spoke the words were barely audible, "To the man who has her."

"Damnit!" Paul’s response stole the word from Andrew’s mouth and the angel had a feeling the agent was about to tell God to forget it.

Andrew clenched his jaw as he tried to get his emotions in order. He couldn’t stand in the way no matter how much he hated it. When his wife had thrown herself into his arms at the hospital today and told him the things she now realized, he had felt a wave of peace come over him that had been a long time coming and in light of that revelation, he didn’t want her anywhere near the son of a bitch who was hurting these children.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" He asked her as he reached for her hand. The look in her eyes had already told him she would need to leave soon and he was not letting her leave without talking to her first.

Paul frowned as the two angels left the room, not liking the turn things had suddenly taken both with the missing child and with Monica’s assignment. They barely had a lead on this man and he was becoming desperate for a break.

A soft sob coming from his wife disrupted his thoughts as his eyes widened in alarm. Kneeling down next to her chair, he reached for her hands, "Baby?"

"I want him caught, Paul," She managed to say through her tears, "You know how this works half the time. When we get close, he’ll leave the area and the case will never be closed and then as a mother, I will never have a good night’s rest."

"Hey, hey," He whispered as he pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, "We’re going to catch him, sweetie. He’s going to slip up and when he does, we are going to be right there to put him away. Don’t you lose faith now, Alex Gatlin."

"I’m trying not to," She rested her head against his shoulder and drew in deep breathes to calm herself down, "But now Monica is assigned to him and I’m worried about her as well. What if he hurts her?"

"Let’s not even think that way, Alex. God is watching out for her-."

"He was supposed to be doing that six months ago too," She whispered. She pulled away, shaking her head, "I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that."

"You didn’t say anything we all haven’t thought, honey," He replied grimly as he wiped the tears from her cheeks tenderly, "We’re going to get him, Alex," He repeated with conviction, "This man will not be free by the time our child is even born and if I have to see to that personally, then I will."

She nodded shakily as she tried to find her footing once more, "Damn hormones. They have me all over the place these days."

His lips twitched in a little smile, "Yeah, but they also have you in a couple of places I rather like seeing you….and then there are a couple of places I’d still like to see them raging."

Alex laughed as she raised an eyebrow, "Oh? And where might those places be?"

"Oh, I dunno. The desk in the study perhaps. Or on the pool table in the basement." He grinned suggestively.

"Looking to sink your eight ball, huh?" She smiled seductively at him as he laughed.

"Yup, right in the center pocket."

"There is no center pocket, you goof."

Kissing her softly, he whispered in her ear, "There is in my game."

*****

"I know you aren’t happy about this," Monica began tentatively once Andrew had led her into the living room.

"That’s about the understatement of the century," Andrew replied with a heavy sigh before he placed his hands on her shoulders, "Though it is in no way your fault. I’m more concerned with how you feel about it."

She was quiet for a moment as she gazed downwards to the floor, "I’m scared half to death," She whispered finally, "If I had a choice, I wouldn’t go, but I have to."

His stomach was in knots as he pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, "And given a choice, I’d ask you not to go, but since we don’t have those choices, we’re just going to have to deal with it. You’re going to be fine, baby." He was praying this was true, but knew he had to instill confidence in her now while he could.

Monica didn’t reply as she held onto to him tightly, even as she heard the calling in her heart for her to leave, "I have to go…" She pulled away, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

Andrew forced a smile before kissing her tenderly, "I love you, angel. Be safe, and don’t be afraid to call me if you need me."

She gave a jerky nod, "I love you too," She looked away briefly once more before meeting his concerned gaze once more, "Pray for me? Please?"

"Always, Monica."

As soon as he said the words, she was gone and he closed his eyes in utter misery.

*****

Paul sighed as he glanced one more time at Andrew in the rear view mirror. He and Alex had tried to keep up a bit of chatter on the drive to the FBI building, but so far they had been unable to draw the angel into the conversation. His green eyes were focused out the side window as if intent on hearing even the smallest whisper to his heart.

"Can’t believe we don’t even have a fucking suspect in this case," Alex was muttering in annoyance as her hands rested on her slightly protruding stomach.

"I know, baby. You would think that someone somewhere knows something," Paul agreed, as he pulled up to red light and stopped the car.

Andrew suddenly snapped out of his thoughts and his eyes were dark as they met with Paul’s in the mirror, "I met this guy Monica took a ride from the other day. He was at the hospital this morning and nearly scared the hell out of her when he came up behind her. He seemed harmless enough, but yet there was something about him that didn’t sit well with me."

Paul raised his eyebrows in interest, "Did he say anything?"

The angel frowned, trying to recall the conversation, "He didn’t seem very enthusiastic about Monica seeing Krista again. He even went so far as to insinuate that she might upset her. Then he apologized and made some remark about probably being more involved than he should be. Something like that."

"Did you catch his name?" Alex asked hopefully. They had nothing to go on and though this was probably grasping at straws, running a background check certainly couldn’t hurt.

"Shawn," Andrew replied, though he chose not to say anymore. He had felt an instant dislike of the man and he wasn’t sure if it was his instinct, the fact that Shawn had upset Monica, or just the fact that he had behaved strangely.

"I suppose you didn’t happen to get a last name," Paul said, trying to keep all hints of frustration out of his voice.

"No. I wasn’t exactly thinking of him as prime suspect number one," Andrew answered, feeling annoyed as well.

"Of course not," Alex quickly intervened. The last thing they needed was to get into a fight among themselves, and she could see that ‘the boys’ were getting testy. Thankfully Paul’s cell phone started ringing.

"Gatlin," Paul answered sharply. A minute later he was pulling a u-turn in the middle of the road and tossing the phone to Alex. He glanced over his shoulder at Andrew. "Laughlin," he said. "Shawn Laughlin. Someone just called the police and said they saw him carrying a girl into his apartment building. They’re already rolling." He caught Alex’s eye. "He won’t be getting away," he said firmly.

Andrew knew that his first thought should be for the little girl and it was, but pounding with the blood in his ears was the repeating question: What about Monica?

*****

The hallway was brightly lit but it only highlighted the dingy paint and the sand that had made its way in from the parking lot and never been swept away. It was quieter than she expected it to be somehow, and the silence bothered her, making her feel even more alone. Standing in front of apartment number thirty-five she hesitated. She knew this was where she was supposed to be but she had to will herself to raise her hand and knock.

"Go away. Not interested," came the voice from the other side of the door and she felt her heart pound hard in her chest. She knew that voice.

"Shawn?" she said haltingly. "Is that you? It’s me. Monica. From the hospital. Remember?" This wasn’t right. There had to be some mistake.

"Monica? What are you doing here?" He sounded slightly out of breath and panicked.

"I needed to talk to you. Can you let me in?"

"Now isn’t a good time."

"Please. It will only take a minute."

She heard the locks turning and took a step back as he opened the door.

"I’m sorry, Monica, but whatever you need to tell me will have to wait. How did you even find out where I live?" He had to get rid of her. He had to help the girl. He had to get out of the city with her. Obviously her parents hadn’t taken enough care to keep her safe but he could. He still remembered what Mary had looked like at her age. The same hair. The same delicate nose.

She could see the harried look in his eye and it gave her pause before she forced down the doubts that threatened to choke her. She had trusted him before. She had to keep trusting him. That was what she did. She couldn’t let herself believe that he was the evil man who had sent fear through an entire city. If he was in some sort of trouble then she needed to help him.

"I think maybe you know why I’m here," she said slowly. "I think maybe you have something you need to tell me."

"Whatever you’re thinking… it’s wrong. I don’t know what you’ve seen or heard…"

"Shawn… I can help you. You just need to tell me the truth." Her eyes scanned the apartment looking for any sign that a young girl was being held there. She saw a closed door and tried to inch her way towards the hallway, but he deftly stepped in front of her.

"The truth?" his eyes held skepticism and bitterness. "The truth is that bad things happen to people and there’s nothing anyone can do to change that. The truth is that sometimes people have to step in and take control."

"You aren’t making any sense. Please… listen to me… you’re in trouble, and I think you have some--"

"I don’t have anything! You need to get out. Get out now!" His hand was rough on her arm as he propelled her back towards the door.

"No! You don’t understand… you have to listen to me… I was sent here…" but it was too late and he had pushed her out the door, nearly sending her reeling against the opposite wall. She stood there, staring at the door again. She had to get back in there. She had to stop this before it got any worse. He wasn’t an evil person. He couldn’t be.

Outside on the fire escape he heard every word that was said and couldn’t help but smirk at the pathetic scene. So Laughlin thought he was some sort of saint. Not a problem Saints had to be martyrs and he would be happy to oblige the man.

*****

Monica heard the sirens only dimly as she continued to focus all her attention on going over every word that had just been said. Things were happening too fast. She had to get them under control before someone got hurt. Was Andrew speeding his way closer even now? Were Paul and Alex outside with guns drawn, ready to burst up the stairs? She had to stop them. She had to change what was happening.

"Hold it! What are you doing? You can’t let them just barge in there!" Andrew’s eyes blazed as he heard Paul giving the uniformed officers instructions to secure all the entrances.

"Andrew, this is what I do!"

"Not with my wife up there you don’t! You have no idea what this man is capable of! If she’s up there he could be holding her hostage right now!"

Alex placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Do you really think that’s true? She was sent there by God. This wasn’t a coincidence she was sent. You know He isn’t going to let anything happen to her."

Of course not. Damnit! Of course not. What was he thinking? This was an official assignment for her. She was probably already convincing him to let the girl go and give himself up. He just couldn’t stand the thought of her being so close to the bastard.

"Hold your fire!" The cry went up from the front of the building and Andrew whipped his head around and saw Monica, looking dazed and walking out, eyes darting around, obviously looking for him.

He wasted no time in running to her side. "Monica! What happened? Are you all right? Where’s the girl? Where is that fucking bastard?"

She was shaking her head, eyes wide. "No! It’s not like that! There’s something else going on. It can’t be him. I don’t believe it. He’s a good man, Andrew. He is!"

"Honey, that good man has molested six girls so far," Paul said as he approached them. He hated to be so blunt but they didn’t have any time to waste. "Now did you see her? What did he say?"

"I… I didn’t see her… but Paul… you have to believe me…"

The relative silence was suddenly pierced by two loud reports. Gunshots. Even from inside the building they sounded horrible and final. Monica jumped and Paul, Alex and the other agents and officers swarmed into the building. Monica bolted towards the building, but Andrew’s firm hand on her arm stopped her.

"No, angel." He stated, his voice bordering on stern.

"Let me go, Andrew! It’s not him! It’s not him!" Her voice didn’t even sound like her own as she wrenched her arm free of his grasp and ran back into the building, already knowing that her husband was only a step behind her.

She somehow managed to push her way through the crowd of officers to get to Shawn’s door, her heart pounding loudly in her chest. Panic welled up inside of her over the fact that the men were already holstering their weapons, grim expressions on their faces.

"Damnit, Monica, get out of here!" Paul caught sight of her and attempted to block her enterence into the room down the hall that had been closed when she had first been inside the apartment. He wanted to spare her what she would see, even as his mind raced with how her assignment had gone so drastically wrong.

Not to be detered, the little angel moved past him and into the room, a startled, strangled cry escaping her lips as she took in the sight. The first thing she noticed was the blood, the scent of it, mixed with gun powder nearly making her feel sick on her stomach. She already knew that Shawn was dead, a gun still within his fingers and the agents obviously had already drawn the same conclusion as no one was bothering with him at the moment. Their attention was focused on the little dark haired girl and the red stain that was covering the front of her pink overalls. They were trying to stop the bleeding and Alex was administering CPR, even as more sirens already were sounding in the distance.

Even through all the commotion in the room, all Monica could hear was the sound of her own frantic breathing as she tried to wrap her mind around what had appeared to have happened. Shawn had tried to kill Sarah, then had turned the gun on himself. That was what her mind was telling her, but her heart believed something entirely different.

"I’ve got a pulse!" Alex cried out, somehow managing to keep herself from sobbing in relief. She looked up and met the eyes of her husband and only then noticed the very pale angel standing next to him, "Paul, get her out of here."

"Paul, you’re wrong," Monica whispered as she felt him take her arm and lead her from the room, only realizing Andrew was there as well as he laid a gentle hand on her back to help guide her from the room.

"I don’t think so," Paul replied curtly, only releasing her when she was back outside, "All the evidence is there."

But she was already shaking her head, "No. It isn’t."

He exchanged a helpless glance with Andrew over her head, "I have to get back in there. We can talk about it later."

Monica watched him go, unable to help but feel that he was dismissing her, "It’s not him, Andrew. Paul is wrong!"

"Monica," Andrew tentatively laid his hands on her shoulders, "All the proof is there, angel. I’m just thankful that so far that little girl is still alive…"

"Shawn’s a good man," She insisted, refusing to believe what her husband was saying, "There’s been a mistake. He isn’t bad…he’s not-."

"How can you say that, Monica?" He argued as gently as he could, "Even if the picture weren’t painted in there as clearly as it is, last week you admitted to being afraid of him-."

"No! I was afraid of taking a ride with him, not of him!"

"There’s a difference?"

"Yes! Shawn wasn’t evil…once the real man started abducting these girls, Shawn was keeping an eye on the kids in his neighborhood-."

A bitter laugh escaped him before he could stop it, "Yeah, I’m sure he was," He watched regretfully as she pulled away, and his expression softened, "Monica, last week he frightened you and to be honest, I didn’t like him from the moment I met him. He even insinuated that he was too involved-."

"You don’t trust my judgement," She accused, her dark eyes narrowing in anger.

"You know better than that, Monica," Andrew was quickly growing frustrated. He had been worried to death about her, and now that he knew she was safe, they were standing here arguing.

"You don’t believe me about Shawn. You don’t believe that he isn’t the man the FBI has been looking for."

"Can you give me one reason why I should believe that? Your friend is up there with a gun in his hand and that little girl has been shot. What am I supposed to believe?"

"Me! You’re supposed to believe me! I know it doesn’t make any sense, but they have the wrong man! I was just up there and he gave me no indication that he was about to try to kill someone and then take his own life!" Her cheeks were flushed with anger, even as she tried to calm herself down. She wasn’t sure she liked the way this anger felt and even less the fact that it was directed at the one she loved with all her heart.

"Angel, I’m sorry your assignment didn’t go the way you had hoped, but there is no other explanation-."

Monica looked at him incredulously, "So you’re saying I failed? You’re saying that not only do you not trust me, but that I couldn’t even get my assignment right-."

"You know damn well that is not what I’m saying," He growled lowly. The last thing he wanted was her doubting him, but she was wrong about this. She had been wrong about Shawn, no matter how unwilling she was to accept it.

"Last week you told me my judgement was always good but now you are flat out telling me I was wrong," Hot tears burned in her dark eyes, but she refused to shed them. Something in her heart was telling her that they were all wrong, yet no one would listen to her, yet alone believe her, "I know I haven’t been myself the last few months, I know that and I know I’ve doubted myself more times than I could ever count," Her voice trembled as she looked at him through eyes filled with deep hurt, "But doubting myself doesn’t even compare to you and Paul doubting me. Especially you, Andrew. Even if you can’t see it right now, the fact that he’s innocent, you don’t even trust me enough to try."

Andrew watched helplessly as she turned away from him and starting walking away from the building, "Monica!" But she didn’t even glance back, though he could feel her hurt in his heart briefly, before it vanished completely with her retreat.

*****

"What have we got?"

Paul looked up as Andrew entered into the apartment nearly an hour later, not missing the strained look on his friend’s face. But the guarded look in the angel’s eyes kept him from asking the question, at least for the moment. Sarah Witte had been taken to Mercy Hospital and a sheet now covered Shawn’s body, but for just supposedly having solved a case, the agent was not looking happy, "Not as much as I wish we had," He replied after a moment.

Alex sighed softly, seeing the puzzled look on Andrew’s face, "We’re not looking at your typical residence of a serial child molester, Andrew. No cameras, no pornographic material of any kind, no mask…" She looked over at her husband from where she stood, searching through the bedroom closet, "Something doesn’t feel right about this, but I hope to hell I’m wrong."

"It’s too easy," Paul thought aloud, voicing what he knew Alex was already thinking, "We’ve been trying to catch this guy for weeks and haven’t even had a lead to amount to anything. Now all of a sudden, he is seen walking down the street carrying Sarah? It doesn’t add up."

"What are you saying?" With his mind still half focused on Monica, he was barely following the conversation.

"We’re saying that if Shawn was the one taking these girls, he sure as hell doesn’t fit the profile," Paul answered.

"If? If it wasn’t him then why was she here? Why did he kill himself?" Andrew wasn’t sure what he should be feeling. Part of him wanted Monica to be right, if only for her sake, but he had just finished arguing with her over how wrong she was, and if there was someone else involved, then he was still out there, and still a danger.

"I don’t know what to tell you, Andrew except that it doesn’t make sense. The coroner should be here soon and maybe we’ll know more after an autopsy. Maybe there were some drugs involved." Paul was shaking his head and running one hand through his hair. The two gunshots had sent a sick feeling through him, but at the same time he had assumed they signaled the end of the case. Now they felt more like a beginning.

"We’ve got agents and officers questioning everyone in the building, so by morning we should have a better picture of who this man was," Alex said. She glanced over at the body sadly. "Right now I’m beginning to wonder if Monica was right about him."

She couldn’t know it, but her words were like a knife in Andrew’s gut. "Yeah," he muttered. "She was pretty adamant."

Paul didn’t miss the somewhat disgusted tone in Andrew’s voice and he turned to look at the angel who was just shaking his head, jaw clenched. "Where is she, anyway? Did she get a cab back to the house?"

Andrew shoved his hands into his pockets. "We had a disagreement," he said, knowing that it had been much more than that.

Alex looked up sharply. Andrew had just gotten back into her good graces and now he was already fighting with Monica again? "What kind of disagreement?" she asked, eyes narrowed.

"Don’t worry, Alex. She wasn’t afraid to tell me what she thought this time. I couldn’t believe that she was still trying to defend this man, and she couldn’t believe that I wouldn’t trust her. She ended up walking off."

"Tell me you didn’t just let her go," Paul said as he stood up from where he had been crouching.

"I followed her for three blocks until she hailed a cab. I’m guessing that she went back to the townhouse."

"Andrew, Andrew, Andrew…" Alex laid a hand on his shoulder. "Aren’t you the one who spent the weekend apologizing for your last fight? And here you go and get into another one with her?"

"I didn’t think it was a fight. This was different. I didn’t have any real cause to doubt her judgement before, but here we’ve got a man with a girl in his bed and a bullet through his brain. It didn’t seem unreasonable to suggest that maybe she wasn’t seeing things clearly," Andrew attempted to defend himself, but unfortunately it wasn’t even making him feel better.

"It shouldn’t matter what the circumstances are," Paul argued. "Either you trust her or you don’t. You can’t say you trust her for the small stuff but not the stuff that really matters. She’s not a child. Hell, she’s a few centuries older than I am, and I’m sure she’s a much better judge of character."

"Of course I trust her!" Andrew shot back. "But what would you have thought? If Alex came to you defending a man you thought was a serial killer… someone you had found with one of the victims… what would you say?"

Paul shrugged and shook his head. "Hey, I’m not saying I’d have acted any differently," he said. "I’m only human. I hope I’d have an open mind to listen to her…"

"Yeah, you’d listen to me… for about five seconds," Alex interjected. "Look, Andrew… You and Monica… you aren’t like normal couples. You have a history and a relationship that goes so much longer and deeper than we can fathom…"

"Yes, but when it comes to some things we’re more human than you think."

"I suppose so," she accepted, "but right now I think you’re back in the doghouse you erected last week, so you may want to head back and think about what you’re going to say to get out of it."

Andrew let out a long sigh, but he knew Alex was right, and he knew that the two agents didn’t need his help at the moment, especially in his current state of mind. "Fine. I’ll see you two back there then."

"All right," Alex nodded. "Oh, and by the way… just be happy that Monica stood up for herself. If I’d had to step in I’m pretty sure you’d have a few bruises."

Chapter 12

Andrew knew that the cab driver was taking the long way around the city on the drive back to the townhouse, but he didn’t even care. It gave him more time to think about what he was going to say to his wife. Unfortunately nothing that he thought of sounded very good, even in his head. Nothing could erase the truth, and the truth was that Monica was right. He hadn’t trusted her. He had felt that she was simply too emotionally involved. She had spent months being wary of people and he had assumed she was simply overcompensating. How could he spin that so that he didn’t seem like a lousy husband? The answer was simple. He couldn’t.

When he opened the front door he first thing he noticed was the sound of the television coming from the study. He shrugged out of his coat and headed towards the sound.

"Monica?"

"I’m in here," came the familiar soft voice.

He entered the study and saw her sitting on the sofa in the dark with only the light from the television washing over her. It only took a moment to see that she was watching the local news. He tentatively sat down on the other end of the sofa and waited for her to turn the sound down.

"Where are Paul and Alex?" she asked, not exactly the first words he was hoping for.

"Still working."

She nodded and turned towards him. "What have they found so far? The news people aren’t really saying anything."

He took a breath. "Mainly they’re finding things that don’t make a whole lot of sense."

Monica looked back at the television. "They think I’m right now," she said flatly.

He wanted to reach out and take her hand but he didn’t dare. "They think you could be. They aren’t sure how it all fits together."

"And what about you?" she kept her eyes trained on the flickering screen.

"I think you’re right too."

"But you had to have more proof to believe it. My word wasn’t good enough."

"Baby… I’m sorry… You’re right. At that moment, it wasn’t enough for me. Maybe it should have been… I know it should have been…"

"You said you trusted me. Was that a lie?" Her eyes met his and there were tears in them that she refused to release.

"No! Monica, I trust you. I do. But this time… I’m sorry, but it felt like you were just trying to prove that you were right despite all the evidence."

Her eyebrows crinkled together and she looked at him incredulously. "Have I ever done that before?"

Reaching out he gently touched her cheek. "Angel, you did it just a few days ago. You said you were scared but you still got into a car with Shawn."

"But I told you… I wasn’t really scared of him…"

"You forced yourself to trust him, despite what you were feeling and I thought that today you were doing the same thing. I was wrong. I should have been able to see how sure you were. I don’t have any excuses, Monica. All I can say is that I promise to do better."

He was almost shocked when she just blinked at him and turned her head away. "Monica? Please… say something…"

"I’m not sure what to say," she replied quietly. "You already know I forgive you, but it still hurts." She laughed ruefully. "I guess admitting all my feelings isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I think I liked it better when I just buried them."

The room suddenly felt much smaller and Andrew felt sick. "Monica…"

She stood up abruptly and his hand fell away. "Can we not talk about it anymore right now? Please? Let’s just go make a late dinner or something. Paul and Alex are bound to be hungry when they get back."

He wanted to pull her back down. He wanted to force her to talk about it. He wanted to do anything to make her look at him without the trace of pain in her eyes. But, "Sure, angel. Whatever you want," he said, and then he shut off the television as he followed her out of the room.

*****

"You can’t have it both ways, Andrew. You can’t just trust me when it seems believable for you to do so, or when it is easy for you."

The sound of Monica’s slightly angry voice was the first thing Paul and Alex heard upon entering and the two agents immediately exchanged a glance.

"Do you think I have awoken a monster?" Alex asked sheepishly in a hushed whisper.

"Highly possible," Paul muttered, as he hung up his coat and then helped her with hers. He could just make out Andrew’s attempt at a calm, cool voice of reason, but it appeared the little angel wasn’t buying into it.

"Answer me one question," Monica sounded as if she were trying to calm herself down slightly, though her next words caused the Gatlins to flinch, "Had William Grady not come along, would you have believed me today?"

"Angel, one thing has nothing to do with the other…"

"No! They have everything to do with each other. A year ago, you would never have questioned me. A year ago you would have trusted me. You’re the one who told me not to allow Grady to take more from me then he did, but you allowed him to take your trust in me. You think I’m too emotionally involved, that I’m still too damaged to be seeing things clearly."

"Monica, you can’t have it both ways either," Andrew sounded defeated and Paul felt a wave of fellow male sympathy for his friend. Arguing with a pissed off, hurt wife was not enjoyable recreation. He knew from experience, "You can’t one day tell me you are forcing yourself to trust someone when you are really deep down still afraid and the next day get angry because I don’t trust the same man. And the remark about you being too damaged is so far off base it is not even worth my replying to."

"So," Alex mused in a whisper, "Do we run away or intervene?"

"Intervene," Paul replied firmly, taking her hand, "This is uncharted territory for them and it’s getting uglier by the minute."

Andrew looked up with relief evident on his face when their friends walked into the kitchen, even as he forced a smile, "Hey, you two."

"Something smells good and God knows I’m always hungry these days," Alex grinned, not missing the look on Andrew’s face, nor the flushed cheeks of the Irish angel.

"It’s actually just about ready," He replied, casting a glance at his wife that she refused to meet.

"Though strangely, I’ve lost my appetite," Monica mumbled, before she turned away and left the room heading for the stairs.

As soon as she had departed, Andrew sank into the closest chair and buried his face in his hands for a moment, before running them up over his hair, "What a fucking mess," He stated at last, "I don’t even know what else to say to her. I’ve apologized until I’m blue in the face and it isn’t doing any good at all. I don’t think she has ever been this angry with me before."

"Sounds like it could be a bit more than that," Alex remarked, sitting down sideways in the chair next to him in order to face him. She watched as his worry laden eyes raised to meet hers and could clearly see the level of despair in them. She had encouraged Monica to speak her mind and now that she had, Alex was reminded of the fact that Andrew was just as new to this marriage thing as the little angel was.

"Seems to me that this is the first time in the last six months that she has gotten angry period. Yes, she is pissed off at you, but maybe for the first time since that alley, she is just plain pissed off as well. Maybe she just goes through the stages of grief more slowly…or a bit more out of order," She smiled, hoping Andrew would at least give a half-hearted grin, but he only shook his head.

"I’ve hurt her, Alex. Again. Twice in a matter of days, but I honestly thought she was wrong. She just as easily could have been wrong… "

"But it would have been easier for her to admit that than for her to feel that you don’t trust her judgment, especially in light of William Grady," Paul replied forcefully before a rueful smile crossed his face. "Though for the record, in the beginning, I didn’t think she was right either."

"Was she?" Andrew asked, almost not wanting to hear the answer, no matter which answer it was.

"It’s looking more and more like she is. Sarah Witte was not molested, at least not from what her medical exam showed. She’s out of surgery and expected to make a full recovery, so we’re hoping that when this little girl wakes up, she can hopefully shed some light on things," Paul explained, sitting down at the table with them, "We won’t have the coroner’s report until tomorrow some time."

"And your professional opinion?"

A sigh and then, "Shawn Laughlin didn’t do it. Going on what we know and what evidence shows, he was murdered, possibly by the man we are still looking for. Only my opinion of course, but the rest of the agents assigned to the case also feel that way."

"Then why did he have Sarah?"

"That remains a mystery," Alex answered for her husband, "Do we know if Monica ever talked to him?"

Andrew nodded his head, "Yes, she did. He didn’t offer much. Something about sometimes bad things happen and someone needs to step in and take control of the situation. He threw her out of the apartment after that."

"Sarah lived in his neighborhood," Paul mused with a frown, "All the evidence seems to be there on the surface, but we have nothing on this guy. We searched the apartment, his car, checked for any other addresses, nothing. He’s been a volunteer at the hospital for three years and the staff loves him. They said he went out of his way to help people. His police background is unflawed."

"So Monica’s judgment of him was right on the mark and her fear of getting into a car with him was only residual of the rape and I am the biggest fucking asshole to ever walk the earth," Andrew concluded, "Now that we have that settled, what the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Plan on sleeping on the couch tonight?" Paul offered jokingly but his laugh was cut off with nothing more than a look from his wife.

"Give her some time to calm down, Andrew," Alex laid her hand on his arm, "She’ll then hopefully see things more clearly."

"Alex, how can she see more clearly the fact that I doubted her?" His voice held complete disgust for himself, "She has worked so hard to get where she is, to try to see things as they really are and not by being led by her fear and I ignore all of that and tell her she is wrong. I didn’t even try to see her side of things. I’m her husband for fuck’s sake."

"Where are you going?" Paul asked as the angel stood up and started to make his way out of the kitchen.

"A walk. A little talk with God about how to be a better husband to her as I’m failing in that respect and I’ve never wanted to succeed at anything more. Monica deserves a whole hell of a lot more than I’ve been giving her lately," He cast a sideways glance at Paul, "Her rock has been rolling all over her this week, Paul and if I don’t get my shit together, I stand to crush her."

Paul let out a deep breath as their friend departed before he looked at his wife with a playful grin, "Anymore tricks you’d like to teach that little angel? I think she has getting pissed off down pat now."

"Well, she need to, but now I feel badly for Andrew. After all, we briefly thought we had this son of a bitch as well and we’re trained agents."

*****

When Andrew walked into the kitchen from the back door half an hour later he didn’t look any more certain about what he needed to do. If anything he looked worse.

"Didn’t get the answers you were looking for, eh?" Paul said sympathetically.

"No. I guess I shouldn’t have really expected any. Marriage counselor isn’t exactly in His job description. God isn’t there to hand out the answers when things get tough. This relationship is something I treasure, and I should be willing to do whatever it takes to protect it. Andrew’s shoulders sank and he closed his eyes for a moment. "So I guess we all have some work ahead of us," he muttered.

"I hate to say it, Andrew, but right now I think I prefer mine to yours," Paul replied.

"I’m not surprised."

"Hey, you two, it isn’t that bad. You’re both acting like Monica is just some unreasonable female. She still loves you, Andrew."

"I know she does… that almost makes I worse. She loves me and I can’t find a way to make this up to her."

Paul shook his head. "You probably don’t want to hear this but there may not be anything you can do. Eventually things will get better and this will fade into memory."

Andrew looked over at his friend, determination in his eyes. "That’s not good enough," he said firmly.

"Andrew…" Alex tried to placate him, but he was having none of it.

"No. I don’t care what it takes. She has enough to dwell on without adding this to the list. You two eat. I don’t think I’m feeling very hungry either."

Paul and Alex wanted to stop him but it was obvious he had made up his mind and they just shared a look as they watched him head for the stairs.

*****

The bedroom door was closed but Andrew didn’t even pause before opening it and walking in. Monica was in the middle of getting changed for bed and she turned her back to hide herself and rushed to pull her nightgown over her head. Andrew gritted his teeth. Great. Now he had made her uncomfortable along with angry.

"Sorry," he murmured as he stepped further into the room.

She just gave a little shrug and hurried to get into the bed. Even she couldn’t understand exactly what she was feeling. She didn’t want to be acting this way but there didn’t seem to be any other way to act. She wasn’t even completely angry with Andrew anymore, but she couldn’t allow herself to let it go either. It was a horrible feeling and she just wanted it to disappear. She longed for someone to tell her what to do, but at the same time she knew that wasn’t going to happen. This was something they just had to muddle through somehow.

"Do you think we could talk now?" Andrew asked.

She pursed her lips together and then looked at him with her eyes wide, holding a mix of emotions. "I think we should," she said.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and took a second to think before saying anything. "I know I’ve already apologized. I know I’ve already said that I’ll work to keep myself from repeating the same mistake again. I know I’ve told you everything that I can think of to make things right between us, but so far nothing’s worked. You’ve told me that you forgive me, and maybe that should be enough, but I can still see something in your face that tells me you may have forgiven but you’re not going to forget, and that’s hard for me to accept. Every time I bring it up I think I just make you more upset and Paul seems to think that maybe this is one of those arguments where time is the only thing that can make it better, but I just have to try one more time."

She was perfectly quiet as he spoke but she leaned a little closer to him and he gingerly placed his hand on her leg. She took in a sharp breath when he did that but he kept it there and even gave it a little squeeze.

"I wish I could tell you what to say to make it better," she whispered.

"So do I." He looked at her, thinking about how much they had been through over the long years before their feelings had blossomed, and the short time that felt like years since. Good and bad, he wouldn’t have traded any of it. All of it together had brought them together and made them closer than ever and so would this.

"I don’t like feeling this way," she said plaintively. "You know that, right?"

"Of course I do," he was quick to reassure her, "and I know I’m the one to blame. I admit that maybe you were right. Maybe I have been treating you differently since everything happened, but I swear it isn’t because I think less of you, angel. If anything I think more! I just love you so much and I worry about you all the time, and that’s my problem, not yours. I just can’t stand the idea of anything happening to you…"

Andrew was looking at her pleading with her to believe him, and she covered his hand with her own. "It may be your problem but I don’t think I’ve made it any easier for you," she admitted.

"That’s not your fault," he stated adamantly. "That’s exactly why I’m telling you all this, because I don’t want you holding onto any kind of guilt."

"Maybe we both still have some issues to deal with," she said quietly.

He looked at her and felt his love for her surge. "I suppose we do," he agreed, "and maybe we both need to be reminded of that every once in a while."

"But not like today," she insisted. "I shouldn’t have walked away from you…"

"You were upset and you needed some space. I understood that."

She looked up at him almost shyly, "But you still followed me. I saw you in a reflection from a store window."

"I couldn’t just let you go," he said with a helpless shrug.

"And that’s one of the reasons why I love you so much."

Her expression had lost the half-veiled look from earlier and Andrew took hold of her hand and lifted it to his lips. "Whatever else happens, Monica, I don’t ever want you to think for one second that I don’t love you just as much."

"I never thought I would be able to fight with you. Even the thought of it made me so afraid, but now… When I hear you say that I know it’s a truth I can hold onto forever."

He smiled and took a chance on pulling her into his arms. "Forever and a day, baby."

She smiled up at him as her eyes glistened with tears, "That’s what you told me in the little note you gave me the day we got married."

Feeling her relax in his arms, he placed his hand under her chin and replied softly, "And I meant it every bit as much just now as I did the day I married you, angel. If it is possible, I will love you even longer than forever." His words ended on a slow, tender kiss as his heart swelled with the gratitude of having her in his arms once more as it was the place he was certain she belonged.

The little angel’s dark eyes were full of love and utter relief when the kiss ended. Feeling a lone tear escape, she smiled up at him, "Tell me this is when we get to make up."

Kissing away the shiny path on her cheek, he laid her back against the pillows, his green eyes showing caution, "Are you sure, baby?" She had been so self conscious earlier and he didn’t want to do anything to harm her emotionally.

Laying her hand on his cheek, she gave a little nod, "I need to be one with you again, Andrew. I hate it when anything, even a disagreement separates us. You can be right here beside me and it still feels like something is between us," Pulling him down, she kissed him softly, "I don’t want anything between us right now."

"Neither do I, angel. Not now and not ever, and though neither of us can guarantee that we will always see things eye to eye, I can promise you that I will always from now on try to see your side, and whether I can or I can’t, I will always love you exactly the same."

Monica searched his eyes, seeing nothing but the love and affection he held for her. Running her hands from his face down to his shoulders, she whispered, "Then love me now, Andrew."

He needed no urging as he lay above her, his elbows on the bed keeping his weight off her. His hands ran through her hair as he kissed her, tenderly at first, but as she wrapped her arm around his neck to pull him closer, the kiss deepened and became more urgent. He traced the inside of her mouth with his tongue, memorizing her sweetness, his fingers tangling in her hair.

Andrew stole her breath again and again as he proceeded with the gentle yet intense assault on her mouth as his hand moved to her breast, cupping it over her nightgown, his thumb brushing over her stiff peak. He kneaded the mound gently, hearing the soft moans that escaped her when he allowed her to come up for air. Moving slowly, as if not even moving at all, he inched up the nightgown, only breaking their kiss long enough to pull it back over her head and leaving her bare beneath him.

His hand continued to stroke her breast as he met her passion filled eyes, "I love you, Monica. You are my perfect, beautiful, incredible wife, who I will always love completely, with heart, with hands, with body and with soul."

The deep love in his eyes combined with what his hand was doing on her breast caused the desire and need to well up in her quickly as she took his face into her small hands, "I love you, Andrew. I will always love you. Nothing could ever change it." She pulled him back for another kiss, this one urgent and speaking of her need to unite with him once more, even as she wished they could stay this way forever and never have to allow outside forces to penetrate them in any way. God had created them to be together though, and Monica was certain that no matter what was thrown at them, together they could find a way to deal with it and see it through. Yes, they would both make mistakes, but from them, they would learn and grow, always together.

Kissing down her jaw, Andrew moved further down her body to draw her hardened bud into his mouth, feeling her arch her back beneath him to offer herself to him. He alternated between the two peaks, leaving them erect and a deeper shade from his attention. He loved the way her soft moans filled the room and how she whispered words of a love so deep, that the whispers were only shared in their hearts. His hand crept down between her legs, which were already opened in an invitation for him to relieve the throbbing he could already feel coming from her. He continued to suck and lap at her nipple as he stroked the soft mound, even as his wife raised her hips slightly in a silent plea. Parting the delicate folds, he stroked through her silky wetness as her soft cries intensified, only urging him to tease, running the length of her quickly, pushing her just to the precipice and then slowing back down to leave her hanging on the edge.

It was the sweetest of tortures and every nerve in the little angel’s body was set completely on edge. Her head moved restlessly from side to side against the pillow until she felt him withdraw his fingers, causing her to open her eyes in protest. The answer was a soft chuckle from her husband, who had moved to unbutton his shirt, leaving her throbbing, empty and wanting.

"Patience, my little angel," Andrew chastised with a grin as he removed the rest of his clothing, watching her eyes grow even darker as she watched. Without warning, he pushed two fingers into her pulsating core as he leaned down to whisper into her ear, "I’m going to taste you now, angel."

The words alone nearly sent her falling and she gasped as his mouth descended upon her, the warmth of his tongue running along her folds, even as his fingers moved in and out of her center. When he took her little nub between his lips she found herself rushing to the edge, even as she fought against it, longing to have him inside of her, but when he inserted a third finger into her tightness, she knew that there would be no turning back.

"Andrew! Andrew, please…"

He looked up at her in perfect contentment, "Let go, baby," He said softly, before drawing the sensitive nub into his mouth once more. Immediately he watched as his wife’s back arched as she climaxed hard and he removed his fingers to push into her with his tongue, drinking of her orgasm.

The sensation of his mouth upon her caused wave after wave of intense bliss to wash over her as her fingers grasped at his forearms, as she struggled to stifle the screams that longed to escape. She was still spasming when Andrew finally pushed the length of himself into her with a guttural moan, feeling her tightness surrounding him. Just watching her in the throes of passion had nearly sent him soaring and now he thrust into her forcefully as she matched his rhythm with her hips. Though her eyes were closed, there was a sweet smile on her face at finally coming together, feeling him inside of her in perfect union.

Monica’s intense climax had left her slick and tight and Andrew was moving closer and closer to his own completion as he reached between them and stroked the now very sensitive nub between her folds. He tickled it as he emptied himself into her, and captured her cry as she tumbled with him with a kiss. She struggled to catch her breath as he wrung every last sensation from their bodies and then kissed her forehead lovingly.

"That was…incredible," His wife murmured as he slipped from her depths and pulled her to his chest.

"Every time with you is incredible, sweetheart," Andrew replied softly, kissing the top of her head, "And we don’t even need to argue for it to be that way."

"No," Monica agreed with a contented sigh, "I know you so well…I have for so long…loving you just feel so incredibly right each and every time. Like it’s the way it is supposed to be."

"That’s because it is, angel," Andrew whispered, feeling the emotion welling up within, "You and I were always meant to be; part of God’s perfect plan and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world."

She smiled, as she closed her eyes, reminded once again of how much he loved her and that no matter what else changed around them, that fact would always be so.

Chapter 13

Andrew woke up early the next morning, feeling restless and slightly unsettled. Having Monica in his arms felt wonderful, and he was incredibly grateful that the two of them had been able to sort through some things and come back together stronger than ever. However, there was still the matter of the FBI case and a kidnapper and child molester roaming the city. If Shawn really was innocent then his assignment in Washington was far from over. He bent his head and kissed Monica’s forehead. He wished that he could send her back to the cabin to wait, or even to the farm, but he knew she would never agree. Letting out a tired breath he maneuvered himself out from under her and slipped on his sweatpants and shirt. Coffee was bound to make everything look better.

When he stepped into the kitchen he rubbed his eyes and yawned, then shook his head as he noticed Paul already up and sitting at the kitchen table. The agent had a cup of coffee in his hand and he didn’t look any happier than Andrew.

"What are you doing up already?" Andrew asked as he opened the cupboard and pulled out a mug.

"Couldn’t sleep. I see you had the same problem."

"Yeah, something like that."

"You and Monica sorted things out, didn’t you?"

"We talked, and I think we both have a better understanding of where we’re coming from. I can’t say that either one of us will look back fondly, but at least I don’t see that look of betrayal in her eyes, and everything else that has threatened to come between us has ended up bringing us closer together."

"That’s what marriage is all about," Paul said with a nod.

"Yes, I’m beginning to see that. Once upon a time I thought it was just about loving her with everything in me… but I’m beginning to realize that’s just the start."

Paul chuckled. "Good… then you’re catching on faster than I did."

"So what about you? What drags you out of bed so early? I’m assuming Alex didn’t kick you out."

"Nah, not this time. Just couldn’t stop thinking about this case. We’ve got a man in the morgue with no record and not another thing to go on except the hazy memories of traumatized little girls. Not exactly an open and shut deal."

"Something’s bound to come up."

"Yeah, but until then I’ve got a unit under me awaiting orders and I don’t know what to tell them. They all think they caught their man last night. Telling them that they didn’t isn’t going to go over too well." Paul looked up as Monica wandered into the kitchen and he quickly changed the subject. "Well, I don’t know, Andrew, but Alex is a skier, and if we don’t get some more snow in the mountains she’s going to get pretty grumpy."

"Are we supposed to get snow?" Monica asked, trying to jump into the conversation.

"That’s what the weathermen say, but Andrew here says it doesn’t look like snow weather to him," Paul replied easily, as Andrew pressed his lips together and remained neutral.

"Hmm…" Monica craned her neck to look out the window. "I don’t know. I think maybe I agree with Andrew," she said at last.

She poured herself coffee and sat down next to her husband, feeling a familiar warm feeling in her chest when he reached out and pulled her closer for a quick kiss.

"Hey, hey, hey, you two! Get a room!" Alex teased as she walked in, hair mussed, robe only half-tied, and face slightly paler than usual. She had gone almost a week, but apparently the morning sickness was still an occasional unwanted companion. "What’s the gameplan for today?" she asked, looking at Paul for direction.

"Well, back to the drawing board it looks like," he answered with a touch of defeat in his voice.

It didn’t go unnoticed by Monica and for the first time she fully realized that if she was right about Shawn then there was still a dangerous man out there somewhere. She was about to voice her concerns when the phone rang and Paul stood up to answer it. The rest of them fell silent as they listened to half the conversation, not quite able to make out what it was all about. When the agent hung up they looked at him expectantly and his face grew even more serious.

"That was the coroner. Seems Shawn had a combination of drugs in his system. Anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, and just for good measure a small dose of what they think is an anti-psychotic."

"What? What does that mean?" Alex asked.

"It means that maybe we were on the right track to begin with. Maybe we’ve got our man."

"No!" Monica stood up and her chair nearly tipped over. "I’m telling you. I talked to him before, and I talked to him yesterday. Yes… he seemed upset… but I don’t believe…"

"Honey, I know what you think. Believe me, this whole thing is way more complicated than I’d like. But I’ve got a bunch of people looking to me for the answers, and I need to give them something that THEY can believe. Right now, that’s looking like Shawn Laughlin. He may not fit the mold, but what’s more likely; that he’s the guy we’re looking for, or that he just somehow came to be holding a young girl in his apartment and then shot her and himself when confronted."

Monica wanted to protest, but Andrew’s calming hand slipped around hers and she said nothing.

"I’m sorry, Monica. I’m not saying I’m closing the investigation, but we have to go with what seems simplest… it’s usually correct."

"I know," she said grudgingly. "The instincts of a victimized angel probably don’t hold up too well."

"Monica…"

"It’s all right. Really," she cut him off. "You three had better get in to the office. I think I’m just going to stick close to home for a while."

She picked up her mug and headed out of the room while Paul and Andrew looked after her helplessly. Only Alex’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. The little angel had given up much too easily. She’s seen that look in her own eyes, and she didn’t like seeing it in Monica’s.

"What time are we leaving?" Andrew sounded a bit defeated as his eyes remained fixed on the door through which his wife had departed.

"Half hour. We can pull the team together and go over the evidence, see what everyone thinks," Paul replied from where he was already scribbling some notes on the pad of paper in front of him.

Andrew nodded his head and rose to his feet. That gave him fifteen minutes to grab a shower and dress and another fifteen minutes to speak with Monica. Though she had appeared to have given up on the argument, he still had that unsettled feeling in his heart. He only wished he knew why.

As Andrew headed up the stairs, Alex turned to her husband, "You two go on ahead in. I’m going to go in a bit later I think. I’m still feeling a little queasy." It was at least the truth and she didn’t want to express any suspicions to Paul or Andrew as she could just as easily be wrong.

"Are you okay?" Paul’s concerned eyes met with hers and watched as she nodded her head and gave a little wave of her hand.

"Just the usual, honey and I’m sure you don’t want me tossing my cookies all over your car so it is safest for me to wait it out a bit," She smiled as he reached for her hand and for a second she considered telling him the rest of the reason for her late departure. But the last thing she wanted was the "boys" confronting the little angel about something she may be way off base about.

An hour later, Alex bid Monica good-bye, climbed into her car and backed out of the driveway. Driving up the block, she then pulled over, in front of a moving van, but she was still able to see the front of the townhouse in her side mirror. She almost felt guilty, spying on the little angel who had become her closest friend, but Monica had left her with no choice. She had insisted to Andrew that she was fine, that Paul was possibly right and for him to please call her if anything new cropped up at the agency. No, for the angel who had argued with Andrew yesterday about how right she was, this was more than cause for suspicion. Alex was just surprised that Andrew hadn’t picked up on it as well.

Fifteen minutes passed, then thirty and Alex was beginning to wonder if maybe indeed Monica had given up on convincing anyone, but a moment later, a cab pulled up in front of the townhouse and the angel hurried down the steps and into it. Drawing in a deep breath, Alex waited until the taxi was a discreet distance ahead of her before she pulled out of the space and followed it.

*****

His eyes lit up as he saw the cause of his lack of sleep last night climb out of a taxi in front of the apartment building. He had only caught a glimpse of her yesterday before he had shot the idiot and the girl, but he never forgot a face. Small, petite, quite beautiful really. Shame to have to kill her, but he couldn’t risk any other option. The fact that she had been trying to get back the hall in the apartment made him completely paranoid and though he’d had no idea of how or where to begin looking for her, patience had paid off once again.

She knew he had been there. That fucking idiot volunteer had been a friend of hers and the little auburn haired female had known he wasn’t capable of killing anyone. So despite what the media was stating this morning, she had returned to try to prove them wrong and to clear the idiot’s name. Oh well, if there was a heaven, she would soon be joining him.

*****

Monica was relieved to find the crime scene vacated, but she knew better than to try to get in the apartment through the door. No, if Shawn was innocent, he had been set up, and she knew that no one had passed her in the building after he had thrown her out of his apartment. She may not have ever been assigned working for the FBI, but she had learned plenty from listening to Alex and Paul discuss cases. There had to be another way into the apartment.

Walking around to the back of the building, her dark eyes came to rest upon the fire escape. The ladder didn’t look like the safest she had ever seen, but she chanced it and began to climb, making it a point to not look down. She focused on each step, all the while wondering if she had lost her mind. This was no longer her assignment, but her assignment she was convinced was innocent and it wasn’t justice if the man went to his grave bearing the title of child molester. No, only the truly evil people who would do such an awful thing to hurt another deserved that title and Shawn was not one of those people. But she also knew deep in her heart that a part of the reason she was here was to prove that she was not so victimized that she was unable to see things clearly.

Reaching the third floor, she stepped onto the platform and drew in a breath of relief at finally being there. Her fingers were red from the cold and the steel she had been holding onto as she tried to pry open the window, only moderately surprised when it opened. He had gotten in this way. Stepping inside, Monica flinched at seeing the blood stains on the bed and on the floor and then fixed her gaze on other parts of the room. She knew Paul’s team had probably left no stone unturned, but surely they must have missed something. Something that could prove Shawn’s innocence beyond the shadow of a doubt.

"Looking for me?"

She stifled a scream as she turned around and her eyes met with the cold, hard gaze of who she knew was the man the FBI was truly looking for.

*****

Alex watched as the angel climbed the fire escape, nearly wanting to sprint from her car to stop her, though she was following Monica’s train of thought. What did surprise her was that the window opened when her friend reached the third floor. She sighed and prepared to open her car door, deciding it was time to put a stop to this but then she froze.

Even from the distance, she could tell it was a man who was climbing the fire escape with a purpose and Alex felt her heart beginning to pound out of her chest. Her finger was already hitting Paul’s cell phone number on her speed dial when the man vanished through the still open apartment window, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" She muttered under her breath as she waited for him to answer.

"Alex?" He must have glanced at the caller ID before picking up and she wasted no time in talking.

"Paul, you need to get to Laughlin’s apartment now!" Her voice shook with a combination of fear and anger as she didn’t wait for him to ask questions, "Monica was right. It wasn’t him. The man we’re looking for is in his apartment right now…with Monica."

*****

"What?" Andrew was nearly exploding as Paul finally told him where they were going once he had him in the car, "What the hell do you mean our guy is in Shawn’s apartment with my wife?"

"All I know is that Alex followed her there," Paul explained, his expression grim as he tore out of the parking lot, racing in the direction of the crime scene.

"Son of a bitch!" The angel pounded his fists on the dashboard. He knew he shouldn’t have ignored what his heart had been telling him this morning. Something about Monica’s behavior had been out of context, despite how convincing she had tried to be. He had only assumed that she had not been willing to spur another argument between them and had backed down from her convictions. That should have been his first clue. Monica never backed down from anything she believed in with all her heart and she believed Shawn was innocent. "Can’t this fucking car go any faster? What’s Alex doing?"

"My foot’s on the floor!" Paul shouted as he wove between cars on the busy street.

"Alex said she was going up. She’ll be waiting by the door."

"Waiting?!"

"She hasn’t got any backup, she can’t just barge in there herself! She’ll be listening right outside the door. If she hears anything happen… you know she’s not going to hesitate," Paul said grimly, praying that Alex wouldn’t have the need to perform any heroics.

*****

Alex was out of breath by the time she reached the third floor and she ran to the door emblazoned with yellow police tape. She wanted to just break it down and run in, gun drawn, ready to take on anything, but she couldn’t. There had been a time when she wouldn’t have even thought twice about throwing herself into danger, but it wasn’t just her anymore. She had the baby to think about. As much as she loved Monica she couldn’t risk it unless she had no other choice. She could only pray that backup would arrive soon.

She couldn’t hear anything beyond muffled sounds, and she began to hope that maybe Monica was talking to the man. Maybe she would be able to reason with him. She checked her watch. It had been over five minutes since her call to her husband and she still didn’t hear any sirens or running footsteps. One hand rested on the doorknob. She couldn’t wait much longer. She just couldn’t. If anything happened… no… she wouldn’t be able to live with herself… A long scream from inside the apartment made up her mind in an instant. Her gun was out and she was kicking the door open less than a second later.

*****

Monica’s panicked eyes searched the room for an escape and she ran towards the door, but only an instant later he had her around the waist and was pulling her back against him. She started to struggle and he wrapped one hand around her throat as he pulled a long knife out of a sheath at his waist.

"You keep quiet bitch, and I might make this quick and painless," he hissed, hot breath

searing her ear.

The sunlight glinted off the blade and Monica felt her heart beating so hard it didn’t seem possible for her to still be breathing. Suddenly it was pitch black and the reflected light was coming from a dirty streetlight. It was happening again.. It was happening again, but she couldn’t let it. She couldn’t. She couldn’t go through that again. It was too much! She fought against him, kicking and clawing at him, smelling stale cigarettes and beer.

"Oh, that’s the way you want it, bitch? Fine! Nobody’s comin’ back here. We’ve got all day," he growled and then he was throwing her down onto the blood-stained bed but she could feel mud beneath her and tiny stones cut into the palms of her hands and her legs.

His eyes seemed to glow and she could barely see straight. Everything was fuzzy and disjointed. She saw a picture on the wall but then the next instant she saw trashcans stacked up beside her, and the sound of a bottle rolling down the street over and over again, and the whole time she never stopped moving. She had been too scared the first time. Too scared. He’d had a knife and she had been terrified of it, but this time it wasn’t the knife that scared, her, it was everything else. She couldn’t let it happen again.

She squirmed and fought him and he slapped her across the face and wrung a muffled cry from her throat. He hadn’t done a woman in a long while. The last one had gone completely still after one threat and had just laid there sobbing. He’d slit her throat anyway, and he was going to do the same to this one.

Her face stung and the tears streamed down her face. It wasn’t working! He was so strong… so strong, and nothing she could do was enough. It would never be enough… he was going to rape her again, and there was nothing she could do. Her mind started to shut down, the images from that night in the alley overtaking her and becoming all she knew. She could hear herself begging, begging him not to hurt her again, begging him to let her go, the words choked with tears and fear, but even then she didn’t stop fighting, every muscle in her body straining against the man above her.

If he was smart he would just end it… a quick slice across that pale white throat and it would be over, but her struggles only made him want it to last even more. He was going to break her and then he would leave the city and start all over again somewhere else. A sudden move from her and his hand slipped, sending the knife slicing into her arm and drawing another cry from her. His lips drew back into a feral grin, but when he looked back up to her face something had changed.

The sudden burning pain jolted her back to the present, and her eyes snapped open. She wasn’t in the alley. It wasn’t dark and dank and raining. This wasn’t William Grady, and she was not going to let another man hurt her that way. An almost inhuman scream tore from her throat and she redoubled her efforts, taking him completely by surprise.

"Noo! Get off of me! Get off!! You bastard! You bastard! Don’t touch me! Get off!!"

She was screaming over and over again and she drew back both legs and then kicked out, catching him square in the chest and pushing him back far enough for her to hurl herself off the bed. She half crawled and half stumbled into the living room at the same moment that the front door slammed open. Then Alex was there, looking more like a fierce warrior than a mother-to-be.

"If you lay one fucking finger on her it will be the last thing you do, asshole!" Alex shouted as the man burst in from the bedroom.

He was shocked to find himself staring at a gun, but he grinned slyly. "Of course, lady… whatever you say…" He lowered his arm as if to drop the knife but then lunged forward with a growl.

Alex barely flinched as she pulled the trigger. Once, twice, three times into his heart and one much lower. Later she would claim that her arm had wavered, and Monica would never reveal the truth.

Monica watched from where she had slumped against the wall as he fell to the floor as if in slow motion, before she leaned her head back and closed her eyes, soft sobs of fear, relief and pain flowing through her. The pain in her arm was still white hot, though her cheek had subsided to a dull aching throb and besides that every muscle in her body ached. She knew from experience that moving for the next few days would hurt.

"Monica? Monica?" Alex was suddenly calling her name and somehow the angel forced open her swollen eyes, "Stay with me, honey, okay? You’re bleeding pretty badly and I need to find a towel or something," She nearly sobbed with relief when Monica managed a shaky nod of her head.

The next few minutes passed in a blur to the angel as she felt the pain of pressure being placed against the gash in her arm. She longed to thank her friend for arriving when she had, but somehow words just didn’t seem possible to her at the moment. Her heart was still pounding in her chest and shaking had infected every part of her body now that the ordeal was over. But one thought remained a mantra in her mind-she had gotten away.

Alex looked up as she heard the sounds of feet on the stairs, racing in their direction and a moment and much commotion later, Paul and Andrew were there, along with several other members of Paul’s team.

"Oh baby," Andrew’s words were whispered as he knelt down close to her and reached out to touch her face.

The little angel’s eyes opened at the sound of his voice, the tenderness in his eyes calming her heart as she felt it begin to slow at long last. Her reddened eyes searched his before she blinked and more tears fell and then she was reaching for him, ignoring the pain the movement caused her. Feeling him wrap her up as tightly as he dared, she finally felt herself relaxing. He was her safe place, her refuge from any storm and she would not allow any flashbacks to isolate her from him this time or ever again.

"I’ve got you, sweetheart," Andrew whispered, his voice still betraying the immense sense of fear he had felt only minutes before, "I have you, my little angel," He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes on a prayer of thanks. There would be time later to scold and tell her how badly she had scared him, but for right now, all that mattered was that she was safe and allowing him to hold her. He had felt the emotions coming from her heart off and on while Paul had been weaving his car through the city streets and the fear he had felt had nearly made him feel sick. However, at the same time he had felt a fierce determination rising up through the fear he had felt coming from her.

"She’s going to need stitches, Andrew," Alex said quietly, resting a hand on his shoulder, "We should get her to the hospital soon." Seeing him nod his head, she rose to her feet and felt herself being pulled into her husband’s arms with a strength that nearly took her breath away.

"Thank God, you’re all right," He uttered, not even caring how many of his colleagues were witnessing this exchange, "Thank God, you’re both all right."

"I couldn’t wait, Paul," She started to explain, "She started screaming and I was afraid-."

"Baby," He pulled away and brushed his hand up against her cheek. He could plainly tell by the look in her ice blue eyes that she was afraid he would be angry that she had put herself and their child on the line, and he mused that it could be remnants of the their last real fight. "You were doing your job, and no one does it better."

She smiled tearfully and slipped her hand into his, loving how firmly he held it as he gazed back over at the dead man on the floor, surveying the bullet entries. Turning back to his wife, he asked in complete seriousness, "Hand slip?"

Her eyes widened slightly as she nodded her head, "Yeah, I was trying to make sure Monica was okay."

"We’ll put it in the report," Paul replied, the image of professionalism, until he turned his face back to her and gave the subtlest of winks before turning back to the men who were working the scene, "We got an ID on this bastard?"

"Rick Gowin. Got his address too," Came the reply.

"I’d venture to say we’re going to find all the things that were missing here, there," Paul remarked, watching as a few of the men volunteered to head to Gowin’s place to search it. As they departed, he looked back to Monica and Andrew. The little angel hadn’t spoken a word, but Paul hadn’t missed the scratch marks on Gowin’s arms and face that had been deep enough to draw blood. It told him more than he needed to know. "I should have believed her," He remarked softly to his wife, remorse in his eyes.

"We were going off evidence, Paul," Alex argued softly, "She was going off something much more than that."

"Yeah but still…doubting her…I may have a bridge or two to repair myself."

"And you know she’ll forgive you," His wife reminded him, "We need to get her taken care of medically. Can these guys wrap up here?"

He nodded his agreement and spoke to one of the men before walking back to where Andrew was still kneeling on the floor with his wife in his arms. Monica’s tears had ceased, though she was quite pale and when he spoke to Andrew, she never opened her eyes nor moved her head from where it rested over Andrew’s heart. "C’mon, buddy. Let’s get her out of here."

Glancing down at his wife, Andrew kissed her forehead gently, watching as the gesture caused a single tear to fall. He had listened carefully to her heart in the last few minutes when she had remained so quiet and the things he had felt had filled him with even more relief. Yes, she was hurting, and tired, but not defeated and for whatever reasons, this time her body was aching more than her heart was and for that he was eternally grateful.

He stood up with her in his arms, cradling her close to his chest as he followed Paul and Alex from the little apartment. As he started down the stairs, Andrew felt his heart clench as she finally spoke in a quiet, weary whisper.

"Andrew?"

"What is it, angel?" He replied softly, being mindful of the stairs with such precious cargo in his arms.

"I love you," The words were merely a breath, but the love that wrapped around his heart in that moment was overwhelming.

Chapter 14

The ride to the hospital was nearly silent, with each of them lost in their thoughts. Monica was trying to reconcile herself to the fact that she had overcome her greatest fear, while Alex had both her hands resting over her stomach and was letting a feeling of peace fill her for the first time since the news of the kidnapper reached the FBI. She hadn’t gone in there intending to kill him, but she didn’t have any guilt over the fact that she had.

Meanwhile Paul and Andrew were just thanking God over and over again for keeping their wives safe. Even with Monica injured the worst had not happened. She was still with him. She was still nestled within his arms. He knew that there would be fallout from all that had happened, and yet he was still hopeful that it wouldn’t be as bad as he had first feared. Her words to him and the way she was relaxed against him gave him that hope.

"We’re here!" Paul announced as he pulled to a screeching halt in front of the emergency room exit. He twisted around in his seat to look at the two angels. "Is she still with us?" he asked worriedly.

"Yes, I’m here…" Monica said, the words faint and slurred.

Andrew glanced down at her arm and then gathered her up as Paul yanked the door open. "It doesn’t look that bad," he said as he got out of the car with her. "I think it’s shock as much as anything else."

"The doctors will get you all fixed up," Alex said with the nervous cheerfulness that always overtook her in moments of stress. She was grateful when Paul once again slipped his calming hand around hers. He seemed to know that Monica wasn’t the only one who might have a few nightmares.

"Thanks to you," he whispered lowly.

"No," Alex shook her head. "Monica did it… she fought him off all on her own. I’m just glad I was there to help." Andrew had rushed ahead and neither he nor Monica heard her words but Paul squeezed her hand tightly.

"So am I."

As soon as the admittance staff got a look at Monica they rushed her into a room, not even bothering to keep Andrew from going with her. The doctor at the desk followed them in and started rattling off orders immediately.

"Suture tray, bandages, and let’s get a rape kit started," he ordered.

"No!" Andrew had just set her down on the bed and she sat straight up. "No! I wasn’t raped! I wasn’t!" she insisted, voice rising with each word.

The doctor and nurse glanced at each other, but Andrew’s firm voice cut into their thoughts. "She fought off her attacker," he said, his tone demanding that they believe him. "There’s a couple of FBI agents out there who can verify that."

"All right… all right… I apologize…" the doctor stepped forward and flashed a light into Monica’s eyes. "I just assumed… We’ll take care of all these scratches and that cut on your arm," he said, trying to sooth the now agitated woman. He chanced another look at her and met her eyes. "I’m very glad that you aren’t hurt any worse."

"Thank you," she murmured, beginning to calm down again. She was almost startled by her own reaction, but she couldn’t help it. She just couldn’t go through any of that humiliation… she couldn’t bear the looks of pity.

The doctor left the room to give her a chance to take off her shirt and the nurse handed her a standard hospital gown. "I’d hate to see what he looks like right now," she said with a raised eyebrow as she patted Monica’s knee.

"He’s dead," she replied shortly. "He won’t have the chance to even try hurting anyone else."

Andrew didn’t think that it was pride that colored her voice, but it was definitely satisfaction. There were few people whose deaths she didn’t mourn, and Rick Gowin was one of them. He didn’t blame her a bit. In fact he was positive that if he had beat Alex there he would have finished with him what he never got a chance to finish with William Grady.

Ten stitches later and Monica was given her discharge papers and a sheet of care instructions which Andrew carefully folded and put in his pocket. The doctor had considered holding her longer. Her lack of color and quickness of breath were signs of shock, but she seemed to improve as soon as the last stitch was tied off, and he could tell that she just wanted to leave. The nurse offered her one of the hospital tshirts to wear home in place of her bloody and ripped blouse, but she refused. She had already burned one of those. She didn’t need another. Instead Andrew helped her ease her now aching arms into her coat and led her out of the room.

Paul and Alex were clearly on alert, and as soon as they saw the flash of blue from Monica’s scarf they were on their feet.

"How are you?" Alex was the first to ask when the two angels passed through the swinging doors into the waiting room.

"I’m fine," Monica insisted.

Paul looked her up and down. "Are you sure? You still look pretty pale. Andrew, is she sure?"

"She’s sure," Monica replied before her husband could sneak in a word.

"She just needs some fluids and rest," Andrew elaborated, and his expression told the whole story of how much she hated everything to do with hospitals.

"Well I think we can manage that," Alex piped up. She actually seemed more on edge than the little angel.

"Yeah. No problem there. Let’s get home."

*****

Paul watched with worried eyes as Andrew led Monica upstairs to their room upon returning home, but then he looked over at his wife and his concern deepened. She had sat down on the sofa, with her head in her hands and appeared to be trying to draw in deep, calming breaths.

Sitting down next to her, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, "It’s all over now, baby. He won’t be hurting anyone else ever again."

But she shook her head shakily, "It’s more than that, Paul…" She began but then her voice trailed off and she stifled a tiny sob.

"Talk to me, sweetheart," He whispered, praying that she would. He knew she had no regrets over shooting that son of a bitch today, so that just left him with wondering what was tormenting her.

"I didn’t know what to do," Her voice was barely above a whisper, "A few months ago I wouldn’t have even hesitated to barge in there, but today, I did. I kept thinking about the baby and about how I couldn’t risk it, but yet it was Monica in there with him. I felt myself hesitating, all the while not knowing what he might be doing to her or what kind of hell he was putting her through. Thinking about that, I keep wondering what kind of friend I am, but to have gone in there and risked our child, it makes me wonder what kind of mother I am… "

As she started to cry, Paul pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, kissing the top of her head, "Baby, you did everything right. You held off as long as you could. You’re a damn good agent, Alex, and when you did go in there, you knew what you were doing and how to handle yourself in order to keep yourself, our baby and Monica safe."

"No…no…she got hurt…she was hurt because I hesitated…because I was afraid…"

"Sweetheart," Paul pulled away and took her chin in his hand so she could see into his eyes, "She got hurt fighting off that bastard…she fought him off, Alex. Don’t you think that in light of William Grady that means something to her? Yes, she is shaken right now, but there is a strength in her eyes that I haven’t seen in so long… I think that God spoke to your heart and told you exactly when to open that door and that was when it was safe for you to do so, and when Monica was able to get something back that has been missing from her ever since that dark alley. If you had gone in there any earlier, she would once again have been a victim to a man that wanted to hurt her. Instead I think she now sees herself, or will very soon, as a survivor, which is something that needed to happen."

"Do you really think so?" Alex whispered, feeling him wipe at the tears on her face, "I don’t want you thinking that I would easily risk myself or our child…"

"I know so. I knew what I was dealing with after you called. I knew you would only put yourself and the baby on the line if it was necessary. I accepted that, Alex. Being married to a federal agent, I have to accept that each and every day, no matter how terrible the thought of losing you is, and I know that you go through the same thing."

She nodded her head and then wrapped her arms around his waist, "I do, but I have to trust that God will keep you safe, and so far, He has."

"That’s all we can do, baby," He leaned back with her still in his arms, "For the record, I’m glad you followed Monica this morning. I wouldn’t have had it any other way."

For the first time since she had gotten out of bed that morning, Alex felt herself relax as she snuggled down deeper into her husband’s arms, content to just let him hold her as she prayed that the two angels upstairs were doing at least half as well.

*****

"Drink some of this, angel," Andrew handed her the glass of juice he had carried upstairs with them, before he sat down next to her on the edge of the bed. She had changed into a nightgown, having murmured something about just wanting to sleep, though her every move seemed pain-filled, "I’d feel better to see a little color back in your face."

Monica took a long sip before setting the glass down on the bedside table and looking over at her husband hopefully. He seemed to know just what she was asking and he moved to the other side of the bed and sat down with his back up against the headboard, waiting for her to take her place in his arms. Once safe in his embrace once more, she let out a sigh, resting her wounded arm across his stomach.

"Are you upset with me?" She asked softly after a long silence.

"Monica, I can’t even think about that right now," He confessed, giving her a little squeeze, "Right now I’m just so damn glad you’re safe."

Another moment’s hesitation and then, "You never asked me what happened."

Andrew closed his eyes for a moment. No, he hadn’t, nor did he plan to. He had pushed her for information once before and he still flinched every time he remembered how badly he had hurt her, "I figure if you want me to know, then you’ll tell me."

"I think I need to tell you," Monica whispered tremulously, "I think I need to tell someone…maybe it will help." She felt him pull her closer and rest his chin on the top of her head and feeling very sheltered and very loved, she began to speak, relating to him all that had transpired since she had walked out the door that morning.

Andrew listened without saying a word, though at times his jaw would tighten and his heart ached when she explained the flashbacks as best she could, but he never moved other than to rub her back tenderly or to lay a soft kiss against her hair. He realized that this had been the way he had envisioned her telling him about William Grady, before he had blown that one by bullying her into telling him. Now, instead of screaming at him, and crying at the anguish she was feeling, she was speaking softly and every small tremble of her body was met with a tender touch that calmed her.

When she was finished, Andrew cupped her chin in his hand and raised her head to meet his eyes. "You got away, little one," he whispered, his pride for her radiating in his eyes.

"I’m not blaming myself for the first time," she began, her voice holding conviction, "but I realized that the knife he held on me… it scared me so much… but this time, knowing what I know now… the weapon didn’t scare me at all… what scared me was what could happen if I didn’t get away." Sudden tears filled her dark eyes, as she held his gaze and her voice trembled and rose an octave on her next words, "I belong to you…and I wasn’t going to let anyone take me from you again…ever."

Andrew closed his eyes briefly at her words, before ducking his head to kiss her tenderly, "I love you so much, baby…and I am so proud of you. We all should have listened to you and I’m so sorry for what you went through today."

"I’m not…not really," She surprised him with her words and she struggled to explain, "I feel better about myself than I have in so long, Andrew. I know that if anyone tries to do me harm, I can at least try to fight them off. I know that I am worthy of having you as my husband, and I know now that fighting with you doesn’t mean you are going to stop loving me. That knowledge, all of it, makes all the difference in the world to me. I’m not saying today didn’t hurt or that I wasn’t incredibly afraid, or that I won’t have nightmares tonight and I don’t think I’ll be able to let you love me for a few days, but I feel more like me than I have in such a long time."

He smiled and kissed her forehead lovingly, "That’s all that matters to me, angel." He took a breath before continuing. "When I was speeding to the apartment I just kept praying that you would be all right. Then, when I saw you those prayer changed, and with everything in me I was begging for you not to shut down… for you not to shut me out again. But your heart was so open to me I could have shouted for joy. You didn’t just get away from him, baby. You got away from all those damn memories that kept you prisoner for so long."

"I told you… I couldn’t let him take me away from you… not in any way…" Her eyes were closed and he gently stroked her cheek.

"All those times I told you how strong you are?" he whispered as he felt her slipping into dreams. "This is exactly what I meant."

It was only two o’clock and the sun was still struggling to break through the clouds but Andrew didn’t care. He closed his eyes and pulled the wedding quilt up over his wife’s shoulder. Even if she wanted to sleep through until morning, he wasn’t going to leave her side.

*****

The clouds never thinned enough for the sun to send more than a few wan yellow beams down into the city, and by six o’clock it was snowing. Alex stared out the window at the fat white flakes falling under the street lamp at the end of the drive. The stark white was quickly covering up the sand and dirt stained drifts, covering up all that had come before. She leaned her head against the cool glass and wondered at how everything could just continue on so peacefully.

That was how Paul found her fifteen minutes later, with one hand over her stomach and one resting lightly against the glass. He walked over to her quietly and wrapped a strong arm around her waist. Pensive Alex was not one he was overly familiar with.

"Everything all right, baby?" he asked her quietly.

"Just thinking."

"Not about what happened…" he was fully prepared to reassure her again but hated the idea that his normally headstrong and confident wife was still beating herself up over her decisions.

"Not exactly," she replied. "I mean… not at all… not about that…" she had tilted her head and guessed his suspicions.

"Then what?"

"Just stuff."

"Stuff? Care to elaborate?"

She gave a little shrug and looked out the window again. "Look at it comin’ down," she murmured. "We’ll be practically snowed in tomorrow. Clean slate. No one’ll remember how gross it looked today before the snow."

He furrowed his brows, trying to catch her train of thought. "Well… no… people don’t usually commit piles of slush to memory."

"And Rick Gowan. A week from now no one will remember his name except the families of those girls and us."

His jaw tightened. "That’s the way it should be. He doesn’t deserve to be remembered."

"Yeah, but someone’s going to come along right behind him. I killed him, and I’m glad I did, but it doesn’t really change anything."

Paul wrapped his other arm around her and pulled her back against his chest. "Sure it does. That’s one less guy we have to worry about, and maybe a few less nightmares for those girls when they find out that there’s no way he’s ever going to touch them again."

She leaned her head back and sighed. "I know. You’re right. I guess I’m just being moody. It’s just that so much happens out of sight. So much that only a few of us know about. We catch a ‘bad guy’ here or there, but does it really matter to ninety percent of the people out there?

"It matters to me," Paul said firmly, "and yes, it matters to them too, even if they don’t know it. In fact it matters more because they don’t know it. There’s a little girl somewhere out there who is eating her dinner with her family right now and is never going to have a single nightmare, because of what we do. Think about Andrew and Monica upstairs. Two angels of God. Some people out there don’t even believe in Him, and half the ones who do probably barely give him two thoughts in a week, but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean He isn’t working to make things better for all of us down here."

Alex gave a little chuckle. "So now we’re gods?" she said with a smirk.

He laughed and kissed the top of her head. "I never said that! I’m just sayin that we all work in mysterious ways," he said with a wink.

She rolled her eyes and her lips remained in their half-puckered little grin. "Okay, okay… mood over. Sheeesh. It’s impossible to even get a good melancholia going with you around."

"Yup. That’s what I’m here for. Well, that and making dinner. It’s just about ready. Should we tell Andrew? I’m guessing that Monica’s still asleep."

"She should eat. I’ll go start dishing it out and you can give them the heads up," Alex decided.

"Fine. I already got plates down." He spun her around in his arms and kissed her soundly. "And that should keep any more moods at bay until I get back."

He left quickly and she stood staring after him before softly moving to touch her lips. Yes. He was a definite mood breaker.

*****

Paul gave a soft knock on the angel’s door and heard Andrew call to him quietly to come in, "How’s she doing?" He asked, seeing that the little angel was fast asleep in her husband’s arms.

"Sleeping very soundly, not a nightmare in sight," Andrew replied contentedly.

"And other than being tired?"

"Better than expected…borderline good."

"A blessing."

"Definitely."

"Dinner is ready and she really should eat something-you both should," Paul offered, hoping his friend would agree. He believed Andrew completely, but he wanted to see for himself just how well Monica was doing.

"Let me wake her up and we’ll be right down," As Paul nodded and left the room, Andrew ran his finger down his wife’s cheek, "Angel?" He smiled as she never stirred and he kissed the top of her head, "C’mon baby, time to wake up for a little while." She murmured something that sounded like a protest and he realized just how much today had taken out of her, but he still wanted to get something into her to eat. "I know you don’t want to, but dinner is ready."

Monica forced her eyes to open and gave a little stretch, though her body protested the action. Somehow it didn’t feel as bad this time however; it was a reminder of the battle she had won. Closing her eyes once more, she gave out a sigh, "I am hungry, but you’re so warm and snuggly and moving is not going to be pleasant."

"I’ll help you, sweetheart," He moved slowly, helping her to sit up and being careful of her arm in the process.

She flinched, and then gave a little grin, "Remind me to always work out with Alex when we see them. It’s just a good idea."

He chuckled and helped her slip on her robe, "Maybe a nice hot bath after dinner will help."

"Mmm," She agreed sleepily as he took her hand and led her downstairs to the kitchen where Paul and Alex were waiting.

Dinner was a pleasant affair, though Monica noticed that the two agents were avoiding even mentioning what had happened today, so she elected to break the apparently taboo subject, "Alex, I never thanked you for being there today. I’m not sure of how things would have turned out had you not-."

"I think they would have turned out just fine, Monica," Her friend informed her with a grin, "By the sound of things, you were doing quite well, though I am glad I was there to put an end to him once and for all. Though killing him was not my original plan, he left me with no choice."

"I’m glad you have such good aim," Monica replied, and Alex didn’t miss the undercurrent in the angel’s words. Monica was not referring to the shots to his heart.

"Well, my arm did waver that one time…"

"Unfortunate," She remarked, though her tone of voice said exactly the opposite, though neither female caught the amused glances that were happening between their husbands.

Grinning over at her friend, Alex remarked teasingly, ". I’m not sure if I was more alarmed when you screamed or by the names you were calling him."

Andrew raised his eyebrow as Monica’s face flushed and she ducked her head, "Alex?" He questioned, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"I believe it sounded something close to ‘you bastard, you bastard’, but I could be mistaken."

As Paul threw his head back and howled with laughter, barely able to fathom it, Monica’s blush deepened, though she couldn’t help but giggle at the memory.

Seeing her embarrassment, Andrew wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her cheek, "That’s my little angel girl. Sweet, reserved, with the mouth of a sailor…"

Her eyes opened wider as she protested, "No…I would never…" Looking up at them, Monica saw the teasing looks on their faces combined with the affection they felt for her and she shrugged sheepishly, "I was angry. It just came out."

"I’m afraid I’d have to hear it to believe it as I just cannot imagine!" Paul was still chuckling, "So if you would just humor me and-."

"No!" Monica protested, able to feel the heat in her cheeks even as she laughed.

Sliding his hand across the table, Paul rested it over her wrist, "I’m just kidding, honey. Andrew’s and my opinions of you are still firmly intact."

"Stop teasing her," Alex jabbed him in the ribs and he stopped laughing and struggled to maintain a straight face, "I, for one, am just very glad that today is over."

"Me too," Monica replied. Feeling Andrew’s hand suddenly giving her knee a gentle squeeze beneath the table, she smiled, sure that despite the winter darkness outside that she was able to see the sun bursting forth through the clouds.